


Empty Shell Inside Of Me

by infiniterhapsody, vagrantBreath



Category: Voltron: Legendary Defender
Genre: Angst, Clones, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Hurt/Comfort, Torture, lots of feels, suicide of a minor character
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-11-15
Updated: 2016-11-29
Packaged: 2018-08-31 05:01:45
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 16
Words: 24,264
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8565067
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/infiniterhapsody/pseuds/infiniterhapsody, https://archiveofourown.org/users/vagrantBreath/pseuds/vagrantBreath
Summary: After a mission, Lance is acting strange. Spacing out, taking a while to respond to everyone.After a mission, Lance is locked away deep within Galra territory, at the hands of a Galra commander only wanting two things: information and his terror.Wait, what?





	1. Nothing's what it seems to be

**Author's Note:**

> Many thanks to my coauthor: infiniterhapsody! We have a lot planned for this, and we hope you enjoy!
> 
> Title is inspired by song Replica from Sonata Arctica
> 
> It should have around 13-15 chapters or so, unless we change something else.

”So what do you think? Hot alien babes?”

”Lance. Focus,” came Keith’s voice over the com link.

”You have to wonder about it!” Lance insisted, looking over at Red as the five of them flew towards the planet. “There has to be a distress call for hot alien babes looking for a good time. The universe is big enough for it!”

”And knowing your luck, it’ll be another trap like with Nyma.”

”Why did you have to remind me, Pidge,” Lance moaned. “The heartache.”

Finally, his antics had the reaction he wanted, and an amused snort came over the com link. “As it is,” Shiro said, not able to hide the smile in his voice, “we shouldn't let our guard down.”

The rest of the Paladins murmured their agreement as they entered the atmosphere. No one knew the status of this planet. It could very easily be uninhabited, and the distress signal old. Or the signal could be for those needing help against the Galra.

Or it could be a trap.

It only took looking at Shiro to realize how quick the Galra could move. Lance took a deep breath, quickly turning his gaze to the display. The beacon was coming from the north from here. It would take about fifteen minutes to get there. Fifteen minutes for things to go wrong.

He had to believe they wouldn’t, though. And who knew? Maybe there would be hot alien babes. Hey, he had to look on the bright side. If there would, he would so rub it in Keith’s face. He was _right._ Ha!

Until then, keep an eye out. Make sure there were no surprises.

Kinda sucked this became their life now. Always looking for something to save, always looking for a new fight. Lance sighed, feeling the weight of what he was doing hit him. So much was riding on just five people. On him.

A purr filled the air around him, and he smiled. “Yeah, you’re right,” he murmured to Blue. “I’m being stupid.” Lance lifted his head, studying the external display. “I don’t see anything,” he reported, frowning.

”Yeah, we’re not close enough to see anything.”

”No, I mean... like, nothing. Does anyone else see any... like, signs of life?”

There was silence for a moment. “Old signal?” Hunk guessed. “We’ve had a few of those.”

”Stay on guard,” Shiro told them. “We can’t assume that.”

Lance nodded to himself, still frowning. It didn’t sit well with him. But he wasn’t like Shiro. He didn’t have all this combat experience. Just a bad feeling in his gut. Lance shook his head, keeping an eye on his displays. It was probably nothing.

”Hey.” Keith’s voice broke the silence after a while. “I’m going to go scout ahead.”

”Keith-” Shiro’s voice trailed off as Keith took off. “Damn it. Everyone, stay close. Keith, don’t engage if there are any enemies.”

”Roger.”

He wasn’t the only one feeling it, Lance realized. They were all on edge. Something wasn’t quite right about all of this. What was it? He frowned, trying to see what it was. It wasn’t that there appeared to be no life. There was something in particular. “Do you see it, Blue?” he asked, looking around. “I know there’s something.”

There was just purring, confirmation that he wasn’t completely crazy.

”Damn it.”

Lance’s eyes danced over the displays. Then-

”Hey. Is everyone else seeing that?”

”I see it too,” Keith reported. He was flying over the forest, over the break in the trees. “It looks like a crashed escape pod.”

”Survivors?”

”I can’t tell.”

Lance’s hands clenched on the control sticks.

”Everyone, keep an eye out.” Shiro flew ahead, taking point. “We’re going to have to land.”

”There’s nowhere to land close to the crash site,” Keith said, coming back. “Unless you want to destroy more of the forest.”

”Hm. Land as close as you can. We’ll have to hike the rest of the way.”

”Does anyone else think this is a really bad idea?” Pidge piped up.

”Yup.”

”Yup.”

”Yup.”

”We have no other choice.”

”Just making sure,” Pidge mumbled.

Lance studied the landscape, trying to figure out what was bothering him as Shiro said, “Land by the lake. That shouldn’t be more than a half-hour walk.”

”Roger,” the four of them answered.

* * *

  


The escape pod had been long since abandoned. Shiro looked over the site, seeing if there was anything that gave a clue as to what happened to the ones that sent out of the distress beacon, but there was nothing. Lance found great comfort in holding his rifle as he did so, staring out into the forest. There was just... a crawling feeling on the back of his neck.

He started pacing. Something wasn’t right. And he didn’t like that feeling.

”Stop it,” Keith said flatly. “You’re going to make all of us nervous.”

”You’re not already nervous?” Lance asked in disbelief. “Man, I need some of your chill.”

”I think what he means is stop pacing you asshole,” Pidge told him.

”Yes, thank you Pidge.”

Lance made a face, but halted his pacing. They all were on edge, even if they didn’t mention it. His fingers drummed against his rifle as Shiro went around the other side of the craft, waiting.

Wait...

”Shiro, did you see that,” he called. “There’s some kind of blinking light in there.”

”I did,” came the answer. “It looks like it’s tied to the distress beacon.”

Pidge frowned. “Something about that sounds wrong. Hunk, help me with this.” The two of them crowded into the pod, messing with things and pulling pieces apart as the rest of them started to shift their weight.

Keith first heard it. His bayard shifted to the sword as he turned, tense. “I hear-”

”Uh, guys, it looks like this was a proximity alert, not a distress-”

A gunshot cut off Hunk’s words as Galra droids came marching out of the woods.

”Yeah, we got that!”

”Stay close,” Shiro called. “Don’t let them separate us.”

Lance lifted his rifle, and took aim, firing into the marching line coming at them. Slowly, he started backing away, trying to keep distance enough to keep sight of all of them. If he could just see them all-

Something told him to dodge. He pulled the rifle in close, ducking as a shot flew overhead from behind. Damn, they were behind him. Lance spun, taking out two of them as he slowly started retreating further into the woods. So many. He hadn’t ever seen so many droids. Where were they all coming from?

Damn it.

There was no end to them.

* * *

  
  


Pidge fell to her knees as Shiro ran his hand through the last droid. Fucking _Hell_ she thought they would never stop coming. If she could stand after all of that, she’d be surprised. Hunk was reaching down to help her to her feet when Keith’s voice filtered through her com link.

”Anyone seen Lance?”

That just made Pidge groan. Why was it always Lance? Or if it wasn’t Lance, Keith? She let Hunk help her up, holding her ribs. One might have broken. Damn it. “I haven’t seen him since the fighting started,” Pidge said as Hunk started fussing over her.

”I lost track of him some time after.” Shiro’s voice was dark, and Pidge saw the panic in his eyes. The guilt. “Allura.”

”I’m scanning for him now,” came her calm, cool headed voice.

”Thanks.” Shiro took a deep breath, and Pidge could see his hands shaking. He looked over at the rest of them, and at her holding her chest. “Pidge.”

”I’m fine,” she assured him. “A quick trip to the pods and I’ll be great again. We need to get Lance first.”

Shiro nodded. He opened his mouth to say more, closing it when Allura interrupted him.

”He’s close by,” she said. “Head north. And hurry; his biosignature is not showing he’s conscious.”

She didn’t even need to finish the sentence before Shiro was running. Hunk scooped Pidge up in his arms as he took off after him, following along with Keith. Pidge held on tightly, her heart pounding. Not being conscious after a battle was not a good thing. Instead of closing her eyes tightly like she wanted to, Pidge kept her head up, scanning around them as they ran. Someone needed to watch their back.

With Allura’s directions, Lance’s blue colored suit came into view soon enough. Pidge swallowed, noting the lack of helmet and the thick line of blood running down from Lance’s temple to chin as he laid on the ground. He had been ten minutes away from all of them. Ten minutes from help when Shiro said not to let them split them up.

She watched Shiro and Keith pick up Lance’s limp body, her skin crawling at how bonelessly he moved. Every time that happened, she hated it. She hated seeing her friends unconscious like that.

”He’ll be fine, Pidge,” Hunk whispered to her. “As long as he’s alive, he’ll be fine.”

”I know,” she whispered back. Her arms held Hunk just a little tighter, convincing herself at least he was okay. “I know.”

But fuck, she hated seeing Lance like that...

* * *

  
  


”Commander Zvezdana.”

Instead of turning, one furred ear flicked back at the words. The Galra soldier stood a little taller, trying not to shrink at this display. “Yes?” came the bored tone, the claws held behind her back flexing a little. Each little movement of her body screamed ‘if you are bothering me for petty reasons, it will be the last thing you do.’ And considering her favorite methods to enforce that...

The soldier smirked. He had a reason she would enjoy. “We have engaged the Paladins.”

For a moment, she didn’t respond. Then, she turned slowly, her face impassive. “What are the results?”

”Our losses were as you expected. But we did get the prize.”

Zvezdana nodded. “And the clone?”

”They have taken it. They don’t suspect anything.”

Finally, he could see the edges of her eyes turn in amusement. “Then the day is ours.”

The Galra soldier bowed, fierce joy filling him. This could be their first real victory against the Paladins of Voltron. “Shall I inform the Emperor?”

”No.” Zvezdana’s voice was thoughtful. “I wish to have some fun first. Of course, we won’t kill him, and while the Emperor will not be pleased with the lack of reports, I do want all the information I can pry from the Blue Paladin. And I believe the Emperor will be most pleased when he receives my final report. He did always enjoy my work.” She finally smiled, a cruel gash across her face. “Oh... the screams it will make. This Paladin will be the most wondrous gift I have received in my life.”

The soldier stomped down a shiver at the smile on her face. All the soldiers under her knew her methods.

And she was quite right.

This Paladin would be a wonderful gift to them all.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> InfiniteRhapsody's note: 
> 
> We decided to name our OC Zvezdana, mostly because of it's meaning. It is one of my country names, and while the original form is male name "Zvezdan", it got popular back in the days and we made female form too - Zvezdana.
> 
> Zvezdana comes from noun of "Star". But Zvezdana as a ajdective means "Starry" or "something made of Stars" - for example, _Star Dust_ is translated as _zvezdana prašina_.
> 
> It also means "the one on whom the stars shine". 
> 
> Zvezdana is supposed to be overwhelming. Thats why I believed the name suited her, and so we decided to name her this way.


	2. I'm Home Again, I Won the War, And Now I Am Behind Your Door

”Lance. Lance!”

The words startled Lance, making him jump. “Yeah?” he asked, turning with a smile on his face.

”You okay, man?” Hunk asked, placing both hands on his shoulders. “You were just looking at the wall like that.”

Embarrassed, Lance looked away. “Yeah. I’m fine. Just thinking is all.”

Hunk looked at him seriously. “If there’s anything. Anything at all...”

Lance opened his mouth, hesitating as he searched for the words. “I know,” he finally said. “But seriously. Just thinking.”

After a moment, Hunk nodded. He still didn’t look happy about it, but he accepted Lance’s answer. “Hey, Coran said he’s been looking for you everywhere. You forgot it’s your turn?”

”My turn to-” Lance’s brow furrowed as he trailed off. “Do you mean to help clean?”

”Yeah.” Hunk looked worried. “Lance, man, if you need to go back into the pods, all you have to do is ask.”

Lance shook his head. “Nah, I’m fine. I forget things sometimes, y’know? I’ll go help out now.” He turned to leave, waving a hand as he did.

But Hunk’s words stayed with him. It kept taking him awhile to remember things. He felt... something was wrong. Inside. Lance rubbed his fingers together, frowning. But the cryopods fixed him up and said there was nothing else wrong with him. So... there had to be nothing else wrong.

He sighed. It just had to be the fact he had been hit in the head. He just needed to bounce back from that. That was all, right? Yeah. That’s all it had to be. Lance plastered a smile on his face as he came up to Coran, holding a hand up on a lazy wave. “Yo. Sorry. Forgot it was my turn to help you clean.”

”That’s quite alright, Lance,” Coran told him, standing up a bit straighter. “You can get started on the cryopods.”

Lance sagged, his hand dropping. “You’re punishing me for being late, aren’t you?” Cleaning the cryopods was the _worst._ He’d rather clean the toilets.

”What would make you think that?”

Oh yeah. Coran was not happy with him for being late.

Lance smiled a little, laughing weakly as he picked up the rag and went to one cryopod. Damn it.

* * *

  
  


”Are you sure, Coran?”

Coran nodded, folding his hands behind his back as Allura looked into the med room, watching Lance clean the cryopods. “Quite sure, Princess. He’s not acting like his usual self at all,” he told her, voice pitched to stay between them.

Allura just watched Lance. “And you’re sure another stay in the cryopods won’t fix it?”

”Princess, a brain injury like this is more than simply healing the physical wound. Sometimes it can change how the brain operates completely, and that is not detectable. If his mind has been altered by the injury, there is nothing we can do about it but support him.” Coran winced internally as he spoke quietly to his princess. He didn’t want to imply one of her Paladin was permanently injured to the point he couldn’t fight any longer. “I do think he could still function perfectly in his normal life, only that he won’t act like the Lance we’re used to.”

”I see.” Allura straightened her back, taking a deep breath. “Have we figured out what the Galra were doing on Vulpecula?”

”I’m afraid that has remained a mystery, Princess.”

The look of mixed sadness and anger pained him deeply. She should have never had to experience this sort of thing. Coran let her glare at Lance for a moment, showing her anger at his situation. Allura should have never been involved in this war like this. She should have been a happy child forever.

And now how things have turned out.

”It’s not his fault,” he finally reminded her.

”Oh, I know,” she said, her voice frustrated. “It’s just- Shiro told them not to be separated.”

”In the heat of battle, it’s hard to stay true to that,” Coran told her. “Especially for one whose strength is ranged attacks.”

Allura sighed. “You’re right. Please, let me know if there’s anything we can do for Lance.”

”Of course, Princess.”

* * *

  
  


”So am I going to be the one with the balls to ask here?”

Keith frowned. “First off, Pidge, I have the balls to ask, you’re just better at it.”

”And second?”

”... nevermind.”

She laughed, sitting back in her chair and putting her laptop aside. “No, but seriously. You had the same thought too, right?”

”I think we all have.” Keith leaned forward, resting his elbow on his thigh and placing his chin on his hand. “Why didn’t the Galra take him? I mean, they took him out. And that blood on his head had been half dry. Wouldn’t be that hard to take him.”

Pidge pointed at him. “Bingo. So why knock him out and leave? I mean, there isn’t even a tracer stuck in him anywhere. We would have seen it in the cryopod. You think there was something bigger we chased away?”

Keith shook his head, dropping his hand and straightening back up. “After all that? It would have been long gone.”

”Think maybe they were coming _back_ with something nasty?”

That made Keith frown. “Why not have it with them already?”

”Damn, you’re right,” she muttered. “There has to be a reason.”

”Maybe they were testing some kind of behavioral modifier on Lance?”

Pidge raised her eyebrows. “Why do you say that?”

Keith just blinked at her. “You don’t see it? He’s acting really weird!”

”Yeah, he takes a bit to respond to me sometimes, but he was hit on the goddamn head. He’s going to be a little slower than normal.”

”No, I-” Keith let out a frustrated breath. He couldn’t explain it. There was just something _off_ about how he had to pause and think. About how he took a bit to respond even to a simple offer to spar. And the way he acted when he was beaten, it just didn’t resonate with him the same way. “It’s just not Lance, okay?”

Pidge frowned. “I don’t know what you’re talking about. I mean, he totally acts like Lance if Lance had some brain damage. Which, I wish we could actually test and fix that. If that happens to one of us again, I don’t want to know what will happen.”

Keith threw up his hands. “Pidge! You seriously think that’s normal Lance behavior?”

She shrugged. “Normal, not really. But he was hit on the head. You have to reconsider what ‘normal’ is at that point.”

Frustrated, Keith sat back. That was the problem. Lance _had_ been hit on the head. And head injuries did make people act weird. But this didn’t feel like that! It felt... damn it. He couldn’t explain it.

”Hey.” Keith looked over at Pidge as she leaned forward. “He’ll be okay. Maybe he’ll even be less of a dick now. It’s okay.”

”Yeah,” he mumbled. “I’m going to go work out.”

Pidge sighed, knowing he still worried. “When you get down there, tell Shiro it’s his turn to help Hunk cook.”

”You mean tell Shiro it’s his turn to stay the fuck out of the kitchen.”

”That too.”

The reference to their leader’s lack of cooking skill that wasn’t “add boiling water” or “put in microwave” made Keith smile briefly, and he nodded to Pidge before leaving. But the amusement stayed with him only out into the hall before worry for Lance set back in.

Something was wrong with Lance. What had happened... it definitely was more than just a simple head injury. Keith was sure of it.

But no one else was.

And that worried him even more.


	3. I Fall Asleep and Dream a Dream, I'm Floating In a Silent Scream

So this was a thing.

Lance felt wild giggles bubble in his throat, and he clenched his hands, feeling them twist in the chains. Yeah, this was a thing. Caught by the Galra, and chained to a wall, stripped of his armor, put into what felt like a prisoner’s suit. Funny, when he thought “chained to a wall,” there were more sexy chicks involved.

There were never sexy chicks involved.

He took a deep breath, looking up at what he hoped was a ceiling. He couldn’t tell. Someone had decided to turn out the lights. There was a really low chance he was upside down, though. But hey, in space anything could happen.

Lance clenched his eyes tightly. In space... only this could happen.

The only thing that kept him from screaming was the thought that he had been far enough away that the rest wouldn’t have gotten caught too. Just him. Everyone else would be okay. And as long as they were okay, they could come and get him. He just had to hold out.

That he could do. He could hold on.

Silence dragged on, and it started to grate on his nerves. The darkness he could do nothing about, but the silence? He started humming at first, the loud kind that he would do to annoy his sisters. Then he started singing, softly, songs from his childhood.

Then finally.

”67 BOTTLES OF BEER ON THE WALL. 67 BOTTLES OF BEER. TAKE ONE DOWN, PASS IT AROUND, 66 BOTTLES OF- oh hey there.”

They let him get to 66 bottles of beer. Impressive.

But the Galra that entered didn’t respond. Instead, there was a slight pinprick on his inner elbow, a large needle staying in- oh _fuck_ no, not an IV. Lance tried to yank his arm away, the chains rattling as he did. But the needle in his arm stayed put, and the rest of the IV was set up quickly. Damn it. So they were going to drug him while he was there.

Lance grit his teeth as the Galra left, flexing his hand and feeling the needle move in his arm. And he waited for the drugs to take hold.

And waited.

And- huh. Did they just not work? Or were they pumping him full of something else?

... whatever.

”66 BOTTLES OF BEER ON THE WALL-”

* * *

  


”THE WHEELS ON THE BUS GO ‘ROUND AND ‘ROUND-”

* * *

  
  


”THIS IS THE SONG THAT NEVER ENDS-”

* * *

  


Ugh, his throat hurt. He could use some water. Or something to eat. Food would be really good right about now.

* * *

  


Yeah, he was out of songs. Lance closed his eyes, flexing his hands and feeling the needle still in the bend of his elbow. They... it didn’t feel like they were drugging him. So what was that IV for? Was... that for fluids? Like water and stuff? Could they feed him like that?

Holy shit, were they keeping him alive on an IV? That was a thing, right?

So they could feed him without feeding him. Lance felt his stomach sink, then growl. He still felt hungry. He wanted _food._

Damn it. Well, at least he knew they wanted him alive. He just needed to hold out.

Just a little longer.

”Any time soon, guys.”

* * *

  


Sudden bright light _hurt._ Lance squinted, barely making out the silhouette of a compact figure. It walked forward, and then clawed fingers grabbed his chin, lifting his head.

”Ugly little thing,” came a bored female voice. “I was told you were serenading my soldiers with lovely songs.”

”Not much to do here,” Lance told her, trying to make out features. Well, she was Galra. And a soldier, if the sound of her boots and the silhouette of her armor were any indication.

”Mm.” The claws let go of him, then snapped. Two more figures came in, unchaining him and pulling him off the wall. “I do suppose you know why I’m here.”

”... sexy dance off?”

He was not taken by surprise when she backhanded him.

What scared him, though, was she didn’t act as if she was angry at all. She acted as if she was _bored._ As if she had expected something like that, and was disappointed she had gotten it.

”Down the hall, to the right,” she said, turning to leave. “Third door. And please...” Lance imagined he could make out the razor sharp slash of a grin on her face. “Keep him fresh for me.”

* * *

  


”Allow me to be perfectly clear, Blue Paladin.” In the more equal purple light, it was obvious this woman was no mere soldier. Everything about her screamed ‘officer’ or higher. And now that Lance had a good look at her... if he had anything in his stomach, he would have puked it up. She was smaller than any male he had seen, but he couldn’t shake the idea he could still see red patches on her fingers from her past encounters with something she didn’t like, or that she was three seconds away from ripping him limb from limb without changing a facial expression. This Galra was _scary._ “We can start with the usual: Beatings, electricity, flaying. My men are well equipped to do that. If you are particularly resistant, I may step in as well.” She smiled, a cruel twist of lips that begged him to be resistant. “Or... you can give us what we want.”

”I’m going to give you a preemptive fuck you on that,” Lance told her, shivering. They had stripped the top half of the prisoner’s suit off of him when they strung him up in the new room.

”Very well.” The Galra commander stepped aside, folding her hands behind her back. “You have the floor.”

”What, not going to dirty your hands yourself?” Lance asked as one of her men stepped forward, a curved knife in his hand.

Her head tilted, acknowledging the challenge. “I want to see if you’ll scream for them, first.”

Lance swallowed. “And if I don’t?”

”You will have to see. But please, don’t scream. There is nothing worse than a subject breaking too fast. Unless you wish to tell us what we want to know?”

”Still with the fuck you.”

She nodded to her soldier.

”You have the floor.”

* * *

  


The thing about torture most didn’t know was it was an art.

Any buffoon with a knife and a stick could make someone talk. Given enough time, even her men could make this Paladin talk. But to actually make him _sing_ , oh... that took an artist’s touch. Zvezdana smiled as the Paladin sagged in his bonds, panting. And it looked as if the Paladin was resisting. That was good. That meant her talents were needed.

She waved her soldier away, taking a step forward. Lightly, she drew her claws over his skin, taking note as he inhaled sharply. Sensitive. Her hands flitted over his, noting with delight how he reacted, trying to yank them away violently. He had spoken quite a bit, filled their ears with those annoying songs...

”Do you wish to tell us what we want to know?” she murmured. When he didn’t respond, Zvezdana smiled. “Do you wish to tell us where the other Paladins are? What their weaknesses are?”

”Fuck... you...”

Ah. Zvezdana tilted her head up, letting a smile cross her face. “I see.” She stepped back, considering. Where would she start? Perhaps... ah, yes. It required no extra tools. She went over to one of his hands, lovingly caressing his fingers. “You’re a marksman, aren’t you?” she asked, conversationally. Then, before he could answer, she broke his trigger finger.

The way he suddenly bit his lip, holding back a scream was too lovely.

”Or do you shoot with the other hand?” Easily, she grasped the other, breaking that trigger finger. She heard the Paladin whimper, and her ears twitched. Good.

Zvezdana pulled back slightly, lightly trailing her claws across his chin. “But even then, you could hold a gun,” she purred, the thrill taking her. “If you talk now, you can leave still able to hold a gun.”

The Paladin spat in her face.

Without a second thought, Zvezdana grabbed one of his hands and squeezed until it broke, bones crushing in her grasp. Gently, she wiped the spittle off her cheek, and looked at him again. “One more time.”

”... fuck you.”

The second hand broke just as easily.

Hm. It was time to let the Paladin’s body recover from the shock. She didn’t want to kill him so quickly, after all. Zvezdana nodded to her men. “Take him back.”

It would be quite fun to break that one. She already had so many ideas... perhaps a spiked ball gag? Oh, she hadn’t used that in quite a long time.

And he would break. They always did.

* * *

  


The scent of iron hung heavy in Lance’s pitch black cell.

His stomach ached with hunger, his throat dry with thirst.

He wasn’t dying from either.

His hands screamed with agony.

And slowly, he felt himself sobbing.

* * *

  


”You know what you need to tell me to make this stop.”

”Fuck... you...”

Zvezdana felt fury rise at the words. No other had been so... so resistant to her! His mouth was still covered in dried blood from the spiked ball gag, and yet he denied her what she wanted. Her hand tightened in his hair, shoving his head back into the water for a few more ticks. What was it about the Paladin that kept him from breaking? Perhaps he was one of those selfless types, willing to give himself up to save others? Zvezdana let him come up for air, pondering that. Now that she thought about it, she had always wanted to get her claws on the Champion...

But that would never happen unless the Paladin gave them up!

She let his hair go, considering him for a moment. He had started screaming, started sobbing, and yet still hadn’t given anything up. Gently, she stroked his head, her fingers trembling with the urge to shove her claws through his skull.

But that would be defeat, and she did not deal in defeat.

They had all the time in the world. The other Paladins would not be coming for him with the clone on board. A shame they had been forced to engage the Paladins before they could program the clone to report back to them. But the time the clone afforded them was invaluable. And the Blue Paladin would break.

Zvezdana smiled, shoving the Paladin’s head under the water one more time.

They always did.


	4. I Wish I Had Stayed Home Instead

The silence was almost overpowering. Hunk shifted his weight as Lance chopped next to him, glancing over at the silent Blue Paladin nervously. Everyone said he’d be a little off since his head injury, but... he knew Lance didn’t have the best knife control, but he couldn’t stay _silent_ even when concentrating.

But he had to be supportive. Lance was going through a hard time. Everything would be okay.

Hunk looked over at him one more time. Lance not even _humming_ was just creepy, though.

”Hey, Hunk?”

”What’s up, man?”

Lance put the knife down, stretching his arms out a little. “Can I tell you something?” He stared at the wall, arms stretched against the counter. “I think I messed up my brain during the last mission. I can’t remember what happened after I got separated, and it keeps taking me a while to recall things.”

Hunk turned the heat down low and turned to Lance. “You want to ask Coran if there’s something he can do?”

”I kinda do, but... I mean, what if there’s nothing he can do?”

”What if there’s something he can do?” Hunk shot back. “Lance-”

He hunched in on himself. “I messed up real bad,” he whispered. “What if this is my punishment for not listening to Shiro?”

Oh. Hunk clasped one of his shoulders, smiling when Lance looked over at him. “You’re going to be okay, Lance. If we all were punished when we didn’t listen to Shiro, we’d all be wrecks. Keith specifically.”

That made Lance laugh a little relaxing. “Yeah.”

”See?” Hunk spread his hands. “Everything’s going to be fine. Just ask Coran if he can do a few more scans on you and you’ll see if anything’s wrong.”

”Mm.” Lance took a deep breath, and Hunk could see the fake smile plaster on his lips. “Yeah. I can do that. Thanks, Hunk.”

”No problem. I can take it from here.”

As Lance left, Hunk frowned. He knew that Lance wasn’t as confident as he seemed to be, but... that kind of open honesty about it wasn’t normal. He really did want to be supportive and helpful and not treat him like glass. But something really did seem to be wrong. Hopefully he’d get some help soon from Coran.

Hunk sighed, going back to the food. He’d make it extra special for Lance. Just to make him feel better.

* * *

  
  


How could they not see anything was wrong? How?

Keith looked around at the group, watching Hunk and Pidge go over something on Pidge’s laptop, Allura, Coran, and Shiro talk, and Lance listen to music. Shouldn’t Lance be in someone’s face? Shouldn’t he be hanging off of Shiro, making crude comments to Allura? Okay, he had backed off of that a long time ago. But at least chatting with Hunk, trying to make sense of what he and Pidge were talking about. Instead, he was sitting there, eyes closed, listening to music. Not even humming along.

He had never seen Lance so quiet.

Keith’s eyes caught Hunk’s, and he nodded to Lance, eyebrows raised. Hunk shrugged. Ugh. How was it he was the only one who noticed?

He crossed his arms, leaning back. Someone who was currently being very strange would probably say he was pouting, but- if that person would say it, he would say back he wasn’t pouting. He just needed to say it first.

But Lance didn’t say it. He just continued listening to his music, silent.

Enough.

Keith stood up, going over to Lance. Quickly, he kicked Lance’s ankle gently, just enough to get his attention. Lance startled, pulling his headphones off. “Yeah, what’s up?”

”Spar with me.”

He could hear all the other conversations dying around them. But damn it, Lance was acting weird. Lance needed to act right.

”I uh...” Lance furrowed his brow, thinking, and Keith nudged his ankle again. “Hey!”

”Yes or no. It takes no thought.”

”It uh... I...”

Why wasn’t anyone seeing that Lance had to _think_ about sparring with him? “What, think you’re going to lose? You’ve been so off since our mission I could just beat you into the ground.”

”Keith,” he heard Shiro say warningly.

But instead of rising to the challenge, Lance’s face just fell. “I don’t- I can’t, okay? Just- leave me alone. I need time to- I need to go.”

”Lance.” Keith didn’t move as Lance stood up.

”Get out of my way, Keith.”

”Not until you tell me what’s wrong.”

”Get out of my way!” Lance looked _scared._ It shook him enough that he allowed Lance to push him out of the way. The room fell completely silent as Lance almost ran out of the room, and Keith looked up to watch him leave.

”Can we now address the fact he’s not acting like himself?” Keith asked.

”Head injuries-”

”This isn’t a head injury,” he snapped at Shiro. “He looked scared. Something’s wrong with him. Something really, really wrong.”

”Yeah, I agree,” Hunk said, his voice quiet. “But we can’t really rule out the fact he got his head smashed.”

”If he will come to the medical bay tomorrow, I can run some tests,” Coran added, making Keith want to throw up his hands and groan.

It wasn’t a smashed head! Something else was really off about him. Even a smashed head Lance shouldn’t have to think about if he wanted to spar. If he knew it was a bad idea, he could just say no. Or he would jump at the chance like usual. This Lance had to think about it. And he didn’t respond right to him baiting him.

Why didn’t anyone else see that?

Or... maybe they did.

Keith could see the worry on their faces. That something was really wrong. Maybe they knew their theory was bullshit.

But what would it mean otherwise? Lance was still Lance... he couldn’t be anyone else. Just... what if the Galra did something to him? Something that made him a little more... agreeable to them? And he was fighting that? Or he was having weird urges? They needed to know what happened when the Galra isolated him and no one knew. Lance didn’t remember.

And that worried him more than anything else.


	5. As You Can See, When You Look At Me, I'm Pieces Of What I Used To Be

He knew all these songs. They were his favorites, some for _years._ The one he was listening to he had listened to since he was _ten._ He knew this.

But...

Why did it take him a moment to remember that?

Lance stared up at the ceiling, trying to make sense of his thoughts. It had taken him a moment to remember why he needed to fight Keith. It had taken him a moment to remember their _rivalry._

Shouldn’t he have remembered that right away? By the time it came, he just... he didn’t want to. If it took him a moment to remember to fight Keith, what would happen when he actually did? Would he freeze in the middle as he tried to remember how his body worked?

Bile rose in his throat at the thought. He hadn’t been training because of the head injury. Lance knew Shiro wanted to start getting him back in there. He was the Blue Paladin. Keeping in top shape was vitally important. But- what if he couldn’t remember what to do? Or it took him a moment to do so? That could get him killed!

Lance closed his eyes.

He needed to find out what was wrong. He needed... he needed to talk to Coran. Maybe he would figure out what was wrong.

Hell, while they were at it, maybe Coran could help him figure out what happened after he was separated from the group. That would be nice.

Lance took a deep breath, sitting up and turning his music off. Time to get off his butt and actually go do this thing. He didn’t know where Coran would be, though... maybe talking to Allura?

It took him a better part of an hour to find Coran, and by the end of it he was seriously considering just going back to his room. The thought that he could hurt himself during training - or worse - kept him going. He needed to find out what was wrong before that. As Coran started coming down the hall, Lance felt himself sagging with relief. “Coran, man, just who I was looking for.”

”Ah, Lance.” Coran straightened up, curiously crossing his face. “How can I help you?”

Lance scratched the back of his head. “Look, it’s no secret. Something’s wrong with me. And I want to know what it is before it really screws me over.”

”Head injuries can-”

”I don’t think it’s that,” Lance interrupted. “I mean- it’s taking me a while to remember stuff. Like to remember why I should fight Keith. What if it takes me a while to remember how to fight in the middle of training - or a fight?”

”Ah.” Coran nodded. “I do see your point. Then you wish for me to test you?”

”Yeah. Something. A trip to the pods. A scan or something to see what my brain’s doing.” Lance shrugged, putting his hands in his pockets. “There’s got to be something.”

Coran nodded again, turning to allow Lance to take the lead. “Then let us go to the medical bay.”

It took a moment for Lance to remember how to get there.

  


* * *

  


There was a sinking feeling there wouldn’t be anything. But Lance was correct; they did need to test him. Perhaps they would find something. And perhaps they could fix it if they did find something.

Coran waited, his hands behind his back. Nothing he could do would speed the process up. And to be honest... he was not looking forward to the disappointment on Lance’s face when there was nothing. The young man had been so worried, and with good reason. If he was having problems with recall, and if he did think that could impact his work as a Paladin... Coran took a deep breath, trying to dispel those fears. It wouldn’t do to get worked up about this.

After the too long allotted amount of time, the lid lifted and Lance stumbled out, barely catching himself in time. “Well?” he gasped, looking up at Coran.

”I will need to review the data,” Coran told him. “Just a few more ticks.”

A few taps brought up what had just been recorded, and he studied it, trying to see if there was anything strange.

And started to feel his stomach grow cold.

”Coran?” Lance’s voice sounded worried behind him. “Is there something really wrong with me?”

”Hm?” Coran turned, puffing up a bit. “Don’t worry about it! I just need some time to review this. Humans are quite different than Alteans after all! Perhaps you could find Shiro and send him here?”

Lance nodded. “Yeah. I can do that.”

As Lance left, Coran turned back to the data, hoping he was wrong. But if he wasn’t... he needed to have Allura here as well. Both of the leaders needed to see this.

  


* * *

  


”It will take a while,” Coran assured Lance as Shiro studied the readout, trying to see what Coran had seen. Why had he been called over? Why was Allura here too? “We shall give you a call when our tests are complete.”

”Okay...” Lance said slowly. When Shiro looked over, the naked look of worry made his heart hurt. After that ambush on Vulpecula, Lance hadn’t been himself. And it had taken its toll on him, writing that stress on every part of him. Hopefully Coran had answers to what was wrong.

Allura turned to Coran as soon as Lance had left. “Coran, I fail to understand why I was asked down here as well.”

”Princess, Shiro... I have some distressing information.”

Shiro’s back straightened. What had Coran found out? “What’s wrong with Lance?”

”Well... that’s just the thing. Nothing is wrong. But... the best way to explain this is to show you this.” Coran brought up another file, another scan of Lance. “As you know, Lance has been in the cryopods quite a bit. This is the last scan of our Blue Paladin from before Vulpecula. And this-” Coran changed scans “-is the one after.”

”Coran, I must confess, they look the same,” Allura told him.

They looked the same to Shiro as well, but... not. Not right.

”If I hadn’t been looking for something wrong, I would have thought the same!” Coran put the two scans side by side. “But look at the wear of the muscle.”

”There’s not as much on the more recent one,” Shiro murmured.

”There’s almost none,” Coran confirmed. “If you look at almost everything... it looks as if everything about Lance is new.”

Allura and Shiro looked at each other. “What does it mean?” Allura finally asked, turning her attention back to Coran.

”To be perfectly honest, Princess... I don’t know.”

Shiro stared at the scans, the fingers on his Galra arm twitching. They had done something to Lance... the Galra had done something to Lance. Damn it. Something like this... it could affect his ability in the field. He might not have the same endurance as before.

Or maybe-

Maybe it was worse than that.

Maybe Keith’s insistence that something was off about him held more water than he thought.

Shiro caught Allura’s eye, and she nodded. “We will keep this to ourselves,” she said aloud. “Coran, please tell Lance the tests were inconclusive. Until we know what this means, we are not to raise any alarm.”

Coran nodded. “Of course, Princess.”

That would keep everyone from panicking without reason, but it didn’t change that something had happened to Lance.

Shiro stared at the two scans.

And tried to ignore the feeling that maybe they needed to keep an eye on Lance as well.


	6. I Was In Constant Pain, I Saw Your Shadow In The Rain

”Aren’t you a little short to be a stormtrooper?”

The Blue Paladin had ceased to be amusing weeks ago. Zvezdana had a feeling he was quite aware of that, and that he knew just how close she was to making him pay for that. And yet he continued, pressing on that last nerve. Almost as if- ah.

Well then. If he thought he would push her into killing him, he didn’t quite know her. Silly self-sacrificing Paladin. No, she would continue what she was doing. His body had become quite the lovely map of wounds, of scars in their time together, after all. And he had screamed, had sung for her so beautifully...

”I’m not sure what you’re referencing,” she told him, her voice even. “But the fact you’re lucid enough to crack jokes tells me you’re well enough for me to take you out of your cell.” Zvezdana gestured, and her men came in to pull the Paladin down, to take him to the torture chamber.

Zvezdana took a deep breath as they left, looking up at the ceiling for strength and patience. The Blue Paladin had been unlike any subject she had ever encountered before. While breaking him had been quite entertaining, it was dragging on. And he was using humor to deflect what was happening to him. She had twisted his love of words against him, gagging him with painful iron gags that kept his jaw too widely open and spit drooling out of his mouth. Whenever he would carelessly use his words, she would use it, paying attention to what he loved and telling him he would never see it again, that he belonged to her. His hands had healed so he could not hold a gun - though she knew if a druid were to heal him, they would return to their natural state. But she wouldn’t tell him that, make him think he was useless.

And still he smiled at her as she came for him, still he made light of the situation until she made him scream and cry.

But never beg. He never begged for it to stop.

Zvezdana folded her hands behind her back, squaring her shoulders as she left the room. She would have to be in her best mindset to do this properly. Allowing her emotions to run away with her would lead her to execute the Paladin, and she didn’t want that. She would make him beg first. Beg for her mercy. Beg to make it stop. Offer anything. Even if he made a joke out of it, the fact he broke to ask for it would be victory.

The report to the Emperor, however... her hands twitched. She was quite aware at any moment he would be contacting her, angry that she had not shared the fact she had captured a Paladin, and requesting a report. And she did not have any information to give him. Until she could tell him something, be it weaknesses of the remaining Paladins or that Voltron could no longer be formed due to the death of the Blue Paladin, she did not wish to speak with Emperor Zarkon.

While the clone afforded her all the time in the world, that the other Paladins would not be coming to the Blue Paladin’s rescue, there was starting to be an urgency to obtain information before the Emperor found out. She would need to work harder to break the Blue Paladin.

Perhaps it was time to tell him about his clone. The hope he had was perhaps his shield against telling her what she needed to know. Yes, perhaps at the end she would reveal no one was coming for him, that they believed they had their friend with them, that they had welcomed a clone instead of the true Paladin.

Zvezdana smiled fiercely. Yes. That would do. That would do so well.

  


* * *

  


”Commander Zvezdana.”

Even with a Paladin with vital information on board, paperwork stopped for no Galra. Zvezdana sighed, not looking up from her work. “Yes?”

”Command has requested you transfer soldiers to another ship.”

Annoyance filled her. She took care of her men. How could another not do the same? “And the commander?”

”Khoshekh.”

”Useless hack,” she muttered. “How many are requested?”

”Thirty.”

Not too many. She could spare that. Especially if she didn’t send her best. “I’ll start the process.”

The soldier saluted, and left. Zvezdana put down her data slate and stood, going over to a nearby table to pick up a glass and pour herself some water. As she drank, her mind whirled. This could possibly be disastrous, if she were to be honest. Even her best men could be prone to mentioning her prize. And she didn’t want anyone to know what she had on board.

But Command would be suspicious if she didn’t send a meagre thirty men. This was a dangerous game she was playing at the moment, and she would need to proceed cautiously. She would need to send men that could be discreet.

Damn Khoshekh. Most likely he needed them as guards for prisoners. Mismanagement of his men had always been one of his defining traits. He could pull perhaps twenty of them off of a nearby planet but he always insisted on overwhelming force, leaving his ships woefully undefended. It would be his downfall someday.

She returned to her seat, starting to look through her roster. Her men in general were very loyal to her and knew what awaited them if they betrayed her. But some had very loose lips, and did not think of bragging as betrayal. The ones that could be discreet... were distressingly few. She would need to consider who else could possibly keep to themselves what she had on board.

This would take a while.

  


* * *

  


Each time they boarded a Galra ship, there was always a thrill of hope when they found the prisoner cells. Were they going to find Sam and Matt Holt? They hadn’t stopped hoping they would find them, especially considering sometimes Pidge downloaded the files of prisoner transfers and their names would appear. But it was always old, long ago, and they couldn’t follow the trail past the ship they had been transferred to.

But Shiro watch Pidge only get more determined with each ship. It hurt him to see it, to hope she would never lose it.

This time, they hadn’t found any trace of Sam and Matt. Prisoners, certainly, but the Holts hadn’t been on this ship. Pidge had still hacked into the system, seeing if there was something she had missed, and Shiro and Lance were covering her.

Shiro insisted Lance cover her.

He didn’t want Lance out of his sights.

Lance hadn’t acted untrustworthy, not in the least. But Shiro couldn’t shake what Coran had shown him. That wasn’t normal. It didn’t have an explanation either. Whatever was going on with Lance required them to keep an eye on him, just in case. He didn’t want to feel that way, but there was just something that told him to do so. That they would need to.

”Pidge, how’s it going?” Lance asked, shooting a look over his shoulder.

”Downloading,” she said, distracted.

”Well, hurry it up. I think I hear someone coming.”

Shiro could hear it too, and he activated his arm in preparation. Now would be the ultimate test. How would Lance react in a real fight against the Galra? He had been trustworthy in his Lion... but now they would have to fight face to face. Shiro tensed, and not just because the droids and soldiers and come through the door.

There was a brief pause next to him, a worrying pause, then the rifle started firing, each shot hitting with usual accuracy. Shiro rushed forward, meeting the attackers head on. The enemies fell, easily, making a weight fall off Shiro’s shoulders as he turned to the last Galra soldier reaiming his rifle at Pidge. Lance was moving before Shiro could say anything, shielding her while he readied his own rifle to shoot.

And then the soldier laughed, making Lance lower his rifle in confusion as the soldier spoke.

”I never thought I would see the clone here.”


	7. I'm Not Myself

For a moment, Lance just stared at the Galra soldier. This... this wasn’t funny. Calling him a clone- it wasn’t funny. He swallowed, daring a glance at Shiro, feeling relieved when there was a look of anger and distrust on his face. “Yeah, right,” Lance finally said, his voice tight. “I’d think I was a clone.”

The soldier just grinned. “You would think so. But you haven’t been feeling like yourself, have you? I bet the rest of the Paladins have noticed something’s wrong.” He puffed up in pride. “I was part of the team that switched the bodies,” came the bragging tone. “Of course I would know you’re Commander Zvezdana’s pet clone.”

”Bullshit.” Lance looked over at Shiro. “It’s utter bullshit, Shiro.”

It frightened him when he saw the look on Shiro’s face morph to a thoughtful one. Fuck, was Shiro actually considering what he was saying? Instead of answering, Shiro walked over to the soldier, grabbing him. “You’re coming with us.”

”Shiro!” Lance’s mouth fell open. “You’re really believing this?”

Before Shiro could say anything, the soldier laughed. “And you think I’ll say anything? I’m loyal to Commander Zvezdana. I won’t be betraying her.”

”You already did,” Pidge pointed out from behind Lance. “Think I can’t figure out anything from just Zvezdana’s name?”

The soldier’s eyes narrowed as Shiro started pulling him along. “It won’t do any good,” he told them, growling. “The Blue Paladin’s close to breaking under her care, and then she’ll have no use for him. Your Blue Paladin will be lost to you forever, and you’ll be left forever with this fake.”

”I’m not a fake!” Lance screamed, his hands shaking on his rifle. He wasn’t! Blue didn’t treat him any differently. He was real!

The soldier smirked, seeing the distress on Lance’s face. “You must have felt it, clone. How nothing was quite right. Tell me, after spending so much time with the Paladins, you must have found out something about them. Something Commander Zvezdana could use.”

”Shut up!” Lance’s heart pounded in his chest as Shiro looked at him, and oh God there was wariness in his face. “I don’t even know who this Zvezdana is! And even if I did, I wouldn’t betray my friends.”

”They aren’t your friends, clone. You’re not even real. Not a true Paladin.”

The words hit Lance hard. He had to be real... he had to belong here. He couldn’t- “You’re lying. Blue isn’t treating me any different. I’m the real- I’m me. I’m Lance.”

With a laugh, the soldier ripped his arm from Shiro’s grasp, backing away. “It won’t matter soon. We don’t need a faulty clone. The Blue Paladin will tell us everything we need to know. And then the Commander will report to the Emperor and Voltron will fall.” Swiftly, his hand moved to a handgun by his side, and just as Shiro started to move to stop him, the gun went to his own head.

Lance looked away as the soldier pulled the trigger, swallowing. “Guess he really didn’t want Zvezdana knowing he betrayed her,” he muttered. When Shiro or Pidge didn’t say anything, he glanced over at them, his heart sinking when he saw them staring at him with obvious distrust. “Guys. You know me. You know I’m not a clone.”

”We’ll talk about this when we get back to the ship,” Shiro told him, his voice professional. “Pidge, are you ready to go?”

She took a moment to check her download, nodding and disconnecting. “Yeah. I got what I needed.” Pidge shot another wary look at Lance as she started to stand.

”Guys...”

”Let’s finish the mission first,” she said, her voice not quite cold. “Just... finish this first.”

A cold pit yawned in Lance’s stomach as Shiro and Pidge left. He looked over at the soldier, then ripped his gaze away from the gore his head used to be. The soldier had to be wrong. He wasn’t a clone. They would know. Blue would be treating him differently. Shouldn’t he not be able to fly?

Unless it was... he was really that close to being the original that Blue considered him the same.

No, he couldn’t actually think he was a clone. He wasn’t!

Lance held onto that thought on their way out. He wasn’t a clone.

He wasn’t.


	8. I'm A Replica, I'm A Replica

Somehow, Pidge typing on her computer and ignoring Lance while Shiro waited for Allura and Coran was incredibly terrifying. He didn’t know why it was Pidge that terrified him, and not Shiro’s tense form, but there it was.

”Guys,” he tried again. “Are you really going to believe a Galra soldier? I mean, they’d say anything right now to break us apart. You know me. Do I act like I’d be a clone? Wouldn’t Blue know?”

Shiro didn’t answer, and Pidge just sighed.

”Pidge. _Shiro._ ”

”So did you know there was clone research being done at one point?” Pidge said, her voice conversational. “The translation program’s going pretty slow, but what’s been translated is pretty interesting.”

Lance felt cold.

”I- I’m not-”

”I bet I can find documentation about programming clones too.”

”Pidge,” Shiro finally said, his voice admonishing.

She quieted, but the words stayed with Lance. Programming clones. But- he didn’t feel any different. He didn’t do anything weird. He couldn’t be a clone.

Lance opened his mouth one more time to plead for them to believe him when Allura and Coran entered. “Oh thank God,” he said reverently. “Sane people. Allura, tell Shiro I’m not a clone.”

Allura furrowed her brow, looking over at Shiro, confusion plainly writ in her face. “Would you please explain this?”

With a sigh, Shiro turned to her. “It’s why I asked the two of you down here. On our mission, we encountered a Galra that claimed this Lance is a clone, and the real Lance is a prisoner of a Galra commander.”

”And that’s utter bullshit,” Lance chimed in.

When neither Allura or Coran agreed with him, Lance blanched. Why weren’t they agreeing with him?

”This would explain the scans,” Coran finally said slowly.

”What the _fuck_?!” Lance exploded, waving his arms. “What are you talking about?”

The four of them watched him warily, and Lance settled back, real fear starting to set in. They believed. Oh God. They really believed he was a clone. Why? Why would they actually believe he wasn’t real?

And in some way, the words wouldn’t leave him alone either. He had felt a little disconnected from the group. Taken a while to remember why he needed to do some things. In the mission itself, it had taken him a moment to remember how to work everything. But the head injury...

That was starting to sound like an excuse rather than an explanation.

”Guys...” His voice came out weak, pleading.

”I can’t find Zvezdana’s name attached to clone research,” Pidge finally spoke up. “But this wasn’t exactly under lock and key either. If she wanted to find it, she could have it.”

”Zvezdana?” Allura asked, turning to Shiro, confused.

”The commander that supposedly imprisoned Lance.”

”See? Supposedly.” Lance tried to latch onto that. “Not definitely.”

No one listened to him.

”Can you find out where Zvezdana is now?” Allura asked Pidge.

”Already finding out which ship she’s assigned to.”

Lance opened his mouth, then shut it. They weren’t listening to him. Oh God, they weren’t listening to him. They really thought he was a clone instead of real. But he couldn’t be. He couldn’t have been _created_ by the Galra and put in someone else’s place. He felt real. Like the real Lance. Didn’t that mean something?

”Should we tell the others?” Allura asked. “This could possibly be team wrecking to learn.”

”So would finding another Lance on a ship,” Shiro told her. “I believe telling them would be for the best, so they know what to look for when we find Zvezdana ship.”

”Hey! I just had an idea!” Lance tried, one last time. “What if I’m not the clone and what Zvezdana has _is_ the clone and she’s just trying to lure you in so she can put something she can control here?”

”That would make no sense,” Pidge told him, finally addressing him. “There’s no guarantee that we would have even found the right Galra to tell us about clones in the first place. The fact we found this one and didn’t kill him in the middle of battle before he could tell us was luck.”

Lance swallowed, fear overtaking him again. They believed.

And they were going to tell Hunk and Keith.

Oh God, they were going to tell _Hunk_ and _Keith._ Hunk probably wouldn’t believe them, but Keith... oh God, he didn’t know how Keith would react. Keith was surprisingly supportive at times, but he was also his rival. Oh God.

”Guys... please believe me...”

No one looked at him.

  


* * *

  


Seeing Lance there before Keith when a meeting with all the Paladins and Allura was called wasn’t normal, but it was known to happen. What changed everything was the panicked look on his face, one that turned desperate when he looked up at Keith. “You have to believe me,” he said quickly before anyone else could say anything, his voice pleading.

Instead of answering him, Keith turned to Shiro, eyebrows up. “Um, what’s going on?”

Shiro just waved a hand. “I’ll explain once Hunk gets here.”

Thankfully, it didn’t take that long. Hunk had been close behind, apparently. “Hey. What’s going on?”

”Hunk.” Lance’s voice turned relieved. “My man. You’d believe me.”

”Of course,” Hunk said, puzzled. “What am I believing?”

”I wouldn’t say that right away,” Pidge told them. “We’ve got some good evidence that’s not Lance.”

” _Pidge!_ ” Lance’s voice hurt to hear, full of fear.

Keith just blinked, confused. On the one hand, ha, he was right. On the other hand, what the hell? Then who was this? He looked exactly like Lance, almost acted exactly like him, and had all his memories. He had to be Lance. “Okay...” he finally said, trying to work it out.

”But-” Hunk was frowning. “That’s Lance. He remembers a lot of stuff that only Lance would know.”

”We have good reason to believe he is a clone,” Allura told them all, her voice calm and tightly controlled. “We have good reason to believe his memories are cloned from the original Lance, who is currently imprisoned by the Galra.”

”What?” Hunk asked, confused. Keith understood that. Where was Allura getting this from?

Shiro folded his hands behind his back, and Keith saw the fine tremor in his flesh and blood hand. Shit. If it wasn’t true, it was enough to rattle Shiro. “A Galra soldier identified him as a clone,” he reported, making Lance flinch at the words. “He indicated the original Lance is being held by a Commander Zvezdana. Pidge has found research on cloning, and when researching Zvezdana’s ship assignment, she found that Zvezdana requested materials that the research stated would be required to make a clone.”

Keith and Hunk turned their attention to the now cringing Lance. Combined with how he had acted just barely off... He had wanted to be right in that something was wrong with Lance, more than just the head injury.

He never imaged a clone.

”You have to believe me,” Lance pleaded, his voice panicked. “I’m not a clone. I’m your Lance. I’m _real._ ”

Instead of answering, Hunk went over to Pidge. She shifted her laptop, shifting through a few things that made the color drain from his face. “Keith,” he said, his voice faint. “She’s not kidding. The materials Zvezdana ordered are almost exactly the same that the research says is needed.”

”I’m not a clone!” Lance turned to Keith, and he could see Lance trembling, fear naked on his face. “Please. I’m the asshole you’ve always known. I’m... I’m real.”

Keith looked away.

”Keith...”

”I was trying to tell them something was wrong,” he told him. “You were acting just off enough that I didn’t think it was a head injury.”

”But...” Keith could hear a last ditch effort in his voice. “Blue lets me fly her. I haven’t betrayed you guys.”

”As far as we know,” Pidge said darkly.

”Pidge.” Shiro turned to Lance - the clone. “We’re aware your Lion hasn’t rejected you, and we’re keeping that in mind. It may very well be that you’re an innocent caught in this. However, we can’t rely on that. Until we know more about what’s going on, and we’ve rescued our Lance, you will remain here under Allura and Coran’s eye.”

”Shiro, please...”

”Pidge, do you have Zvezdana’s location?” Shiro asked, turning his attention away from the possible clone.

”Yeah. At least the last place she was assigned.”

Shiro nodded. “Everyone, make sure you’re ready to go when we get there. We may have only one chance to rescue Lance.”

  


* * *

  


They all believed he was a clone.

They all wouldn’t look at him.

Oh God.

He might actually be a clone. He might not be real. He might be a fake person made by the Galra.

Lance swallowed as they left, his entire body trembling. He might be a clone.

Slowly, he raised his hands, looking at them. At flesh and blood and possibly created by their enemy.

Oh God.

Nobody looked at him as they left.


	9. Are you gonna leave me now, when it is all over

Well. He had to give this bitch credit for one thing. Despite being tortured for weeks (months?) and kept alive on an IV, he was still alive. She definitely knew how to keep someone alive to torment them. Lance breathed raggedly around his gag, the iron O shape keeping his teeth spread apart to keep from making a word. But it was an open shape, not a ball, allowing his screams to come through easily. He stared up at the ceiling, taking deep breaths as the commander stepped back, admiring her work.

Then Lance felt claws pricking the skin of his throat and he froze, breath stopping in his throat.

”What keeps you from breaking?” he heard her murmur. “Do all Paladins have this fortitude? Or-” Her grip tightened, making him choke. “Do you believe they’ll come for you?”

At some point they had to. They _had_ to.

”I suppose you would be right... if they’re anything like you, they would be looking for you.”

Lance slowly started to lower his head, glaring at her. What was she implying?

The cruel smile on her face widened. “Do you really think they’re looking for you right now?”

Fucking- Lance’s jaw worked, trying to form words. But the gag kept his teeth apart, making meaningless sounds instead. Damn it. Of course they were.

Her thumb brushed up, lifting his chin. “If they thought you were missing, they would be looking for you,” the commander told him, forcing him to look into her malicious eyes. “But you’ve been replaced, Paladin. Incredibly easily. It makes me wonder how well they knew you if a clone could make them think you still walked among them.”

Lance blinked at her. She had to be lying. One, she couldn’t have cloned him. That had to take a while, right? And everyone else would have been really suspicious if he was gone that long. Two, they all would know him from a clone. Hunk, at least. He was the one and only Lance. A clone would be their own person, not Lance.

”It was easy,” she continued, her voice conversational. “It took only an hour to make your clone. And then we left it for the other Paladins to find... and now they believe they have the real Blue Paladin. But we know it’s a fake, don’t we?” She slowly let him go, letting his head drop. “They’re not coming for you, Paladin.”

She wanted him to believe her. To give in.

Even if they had someone else, he couldn’t rat his team out. Maybe soon they’d realize who they had was someone else, and Lance was somewhere else. And they’d come for him.

He lifted his head, glaring at her. He wasn’t going to break.

The commander took in his response, and clasped her hands behind her back. “I see.” She raised one hand and snapped her fingers, a Galra soldier responding immediately. “Take him back to his cell. Make sure he has adequate fluids. If he wishes to defy me, then he shall be kept healthy while he’s in our care.”

Lance’s body limply fell against the soldier as he was brought down. But it was okay. He wasn’t going to break. They could do what they wanted. If he broke, Keith would laugh at him forever and Shiro would give him that _look._

Hell, he’d be letting his clone down, if he really did have one.

Not breaking.

  


* * *

  


Okay, so, no one paying attention to him was because of a mission, right?

Lance looked down at his helmet, watching it tremble. Ever since they pretty much decided he was a clone, no one paid attention to him. Every time he would say hello to just about anyone, they would just... brush him off. But that was because of the mission, right? Figuring out how to infiltrate this Galra ship if there was another Lance on board?

He curled up on the helmet, gritting his teeth. It couldn’t be because they were rejecting him because he was fake. Because he was supposedly just a Galra-made _thing._

That scared him more than anything. Were clones considered human? Or was he just a... thing? Could he be considered his own person? God, he wanted to be. He had his own memories, his own experiences with the rest of the group. Didn’t that make him human?

He didn’t know when he started to whisper in Spanish, but when the tumbled prayer started to be interrupted with sobs, he snapped his jaw shut. Even if they didn’t find another Lance, they wouldn’t look at him the same. They would still always see him as the clone. Maybe never see him as human again.

Would they start paying attention to him again?

Would they even want to?

”Please, God,” he whispered. “Please, I don’t- I never wanted this.”

He was going to be left behind on the ship. Where Allura and Coran could see him. He wasn’t even allowed to go fight with them. He wasn’t allowed to help. Not allowed to come up with a plan.

He just had to sit there and be useless.

This time, he let his sobs mix with his prayers.

  


* * *

  


”Approaching the ship,” Keith reported, leaning over Pidge’s seat.

”Good,” Shiro’s voice came over their com link. “How’s the cloak holding up?”

”Still have a few more seconds on it,” Pidge told him, distracted as she flew. “You guys ready out there in case things go tits up?”

”We’re in position.”

”Awesome. We’re landing now.”

Keith kept an eye on the external display as they landed, watching for any sign they had been detected. But there was nothing. This was going too well. “Pidge.”

”Yeah. I see the lack of noticing. When we get Lance, get to the escape pods. I’ll grab Green and meet you there.”

Keith nodded, and reached out, lightly punching her shoulder. “Good luck.”

Pidge smiled back at him, and the two of them left the Green Lion, making their way into the ship. Instantly, the lack of attention put Keith on edge. Of course, they had managed to stealth their way onto ships before. But this felt like the Galra should have known they were there. That they were leading them into a trap, almost. He grit his teeth, not wanting to say something and draw attention to them by doing so.

But when he looked over at Pidge, he could see she was just as worried.

Damn it.

They paused long enough to get their bearings. Galra ships tended to be made in the same layout. Probably made them faster to make. But that meant if they took a right there... and then a left there... yup, prisoner cells.

”Cover me,” Pidge whispered, going through the cells.

Keith nodded, turning to watch the hall as Pidge worked. If Lance was in any of these cells, it would be an isolation one. He’d need to buy her time to work if they were caught. Behind him, he could hear Pidge typing, muttering rude things under her breath. He would need to ask where she learned that phrase because he needed to know where he was when she learned it and why he didn’t know it.

Focus.

He needed to focus.

Finally, he heard Pidge crow softly under her breath. “Opening the door now,” she told him quietly. “It says it’s an unregistered prisoner. I’m taking that to mean Lance. If it is, I’m going to need your help.”

Keith backed up as Pidge opened the door, ready if she did need help.

Her soft cry of distress took him by surprise, and he looked into the room.

Oh... _fuck._

If there had been any doubt that who they had on board the Castle of Lions was a clone, it was dashed now. The prisoner hanging before them was definitely Lance. But... _fuck_.

The obvious thing was the tubing plugged into his arm. Maybe at one point the IV needle had been in his hand, but the mangled mess his hands were now moved the needle to his arm. And he looked so... thin. Lance was thin, yeah, but this was skeletal. And- Keith swallowed. It was obvious he had been tortured.

The only thing that made Keith feel better was Lance wasn’t conscious to feel any of those wounds.

”Help me get him down,” he told Pidge. As she went over to one side, he went over to the side with the tubing. He reached down to take out the needle, realizing it wasn’t really a needle. He couldn’t- tell what it was. Some kind of catheter? “Pidge, can you tell what-”

”Just unhook him from whatever’s being fed into him and get him down. We’ll worry about what’s stuck in him later.”

Good idea.

A noise from the door made Keith turn just as he unhooked the last tube, bayard up. Silhouetted against the hall was a Galra, a commander by the look of things. “I will give you one chance to put that back, Paladins,” she said mildly. “Though, I am impressed. I never thought you would see the difference between him and my clone.”

”Zvezdana,” Keith growled.

Her ears twitched. “Damn Khoshehk for demanding my men,” she muttered. “I knew one would brag to the wrong ears.” Zvezdana’s hands went behind her back as she drew herself up tall. “Well then. I suppose that makes more sense. Did you enjoy my clone, Paladins? I did notice a lack of rescue until just now. Did you grow tired of the clone?”

Keith tensed, his hand tightening on his bayard.

”But I suppose it makes no difference. The Blue Paladin did need encouragement to break, after all. I will enjoy making the two of you scream.”

That was enough. Keith rushed at her, bayard sweeping up. The swing hit air as Zvezdana dodged.

”My turn.” Zvezdana’s smile was a cruel gash as she grabbed his arm, tossing him easily into the hall. Keith slammed into the wall, crumpling onto the ground. He started getting back up, growling as he saw her claws around Pidge’s throat, holding Pidge off the ground. “I do suppose I only need one of you,” she mused, her hand tightening on Pidge’s throat.

A ragged scream broke her attention, turning in towards the back of the cell. “You don’t like this, do you, Paladin?” Her grip tightened more, making Pidge choke. “To think, if you had just told-”

Zvezdana’s words cut off as Keith rushed forward, instinct guiding him to thrust his sword upward through her throat. Her hand opened, letting Pidge go as she gurgled, blood running down Keith’s bayard. When she started to slump, Keith placed his boot on her stomach, pushing her body off his bayard, turning to Pidge. “Hey. You okay?”

She nodded, holding her throat. The two of them looked up at Lance, seeing a wild awake gaze looking back at them.

And then Lance’s eyes rolled back in his head and he passed out again.

”Go get Green,” Keith told Pidge. “I’ll take Lance.” He looked back at Lance, swallowing. “I don’t think Zvezdana raised any alarms. I think she wanted to take care of us herself.”

”Yeah.” Pidge’s voice was hoarse. “I think so too.” She started to get up, wavering slightly. “Meet you at the escape pods.”

Keith clasped her shoulder as she left, and got back to work getting Lance down. When he was lying lifeless in his arms, Keith took a moment, anger rising in him. At Zvezdana, at himself. He had known the Lance they had with them wasn’t quite right. And while they were debating that, this Lance was being tortured. If they had known earlier what happened, they could have stopped this earlier.

Damn it.

Keith quickly put one of Lance’s arms around his neck and wrapped an arm around Lance’s waist, holding him up. If he moved quickly and silently, they could make it to the escape pods, and to Green, without anyone else knowing they were there.

With a deep breath, Keith started to drag Lance out of the cell, and towards the pods.

Towards safety.

Away from this.


	10. Are you gonna leave me, is my world now over...

There was something almost nauseating about seeing one’s own face in a cryopod. Something that made Lance want to turn away. Instead, slowly, he lifted his hand, placing it on the glass covering his (original’s) face.

He could see his own, healthier face barely reflected over the pale, sunken in features of the other Lance.

His hand dropped instantly as he backed away. The other hand flew to his own face, checking to make sure it hadn’t morphed, that it was still the same as before. When Lance felt no difference, he took a deep breath, lowering his head.

God, it was unsettling to see his own face like that, and for it not to be _his_ face. He expected everything he saw to be on himself. For him to look down and oh look, his hand was also a wreck. Fuck. Would his original ever be able to hold a gun again? Would _he_ be forced to be the Blue Paladin because of this?

Lance ran a hand through his hair, pacing. He didn’t want to be the Blue Paladin if it meant that. Yeah, he wanted to help, he wanted to do what was right, but he... this felt like he was stealing it. That he didn’t earn the right to be the Blue Paladin. That the Blue Paladin...

His gaze strayed to the cryopod.

He was just a clone. He wasn’t the Blue Paladin.

Slowly, he sat down next to the cryopod, resting against it. He might not be the real Blue Paladin, but it felt wrong leaving. He had been cloned from this person. At least until the original Lance woke up. Then he’d leave.

Or the rest of them would figure out what to do with him.

Lance closed his eyes, sighing. Hopefully they wouldn’t just put him in the airlock and push the button. Done that once. Or- he had the memory of almost being sucked out once, anyway. Maybe he hadn’t actually been sucked out himself.

It was going to get really confusing when he tried to ask his original if he remembered something and he didn’t know if that was an event he shared with him, or that was one he experienced all on his own.

”I’m really sorry,” he whispered. “I didn’t want for this to happen to you- me- us.”

His original didn’t answer. Just healed.

Lance didn’t open his eyes as he heard other people come in. They wouldn’t pay attention to him. The Lance they wanted was in the cryopod. He would be okay right here.

”Will he be okay, Coran?” he heard Allura ask, her voice worried.

There was a moment of silence, and Lance let his eyes open a little to see Coran’s gaze focused on his original’s. “He will be,” Coran finally said. “It will take time, but I believe Lance will make a full recovery.”

The words soothed Lance’s heart. His original would be okay.

”His scars...”

”Yes. And his hands may hurt in cold weather. But he should be well soon.”

Lance closed his eyes again, tight.

After a moment, he heard the sound of Allura taking a step forward, and he tensed. This was it. She was going to haul him up, take him away. Maybe take care of him herself.

But it never came. Instead, he heard Coran whisper something to her, and the two of them left. He relaxed slightly, opening his eyes.

His original would be okay. So they wouldn’t need him at all. What would happen to him then?

Lance placed a hand on the cryopod, sighing. “At least you’re okay, buddy,” he whispered.

His original didn’t answer.

  


* * *

  


”Hey.” Lance whined a little under his breath as he heard Keith’s voice. He was sleeping here, damn it! “Wake up.” And now a hand shaking him. Why.

Slowly, Lance opened his eyes. Where was- oh. Right. He was a clone and his original was in the cryopod he was leaning up against. That was what was going on here. Lance yawned, stretching carefully to not hit Keith in the face. He’d done that once, accidentally. He had snorted, but the resulting look from Shiro had made him feel so terrible- goddamn it. He was going to have to remember that _his original_ had done that. He had never done that.

”What’s up?” he asked once he was done, leaning back on his palms.

Keith frowned, the struggle to put the words together clear on his face. “You know you can leave here, right?” he finally said, looking away as he put one hand to his head, scratching slightly. “We’re not keeping you here.”

”I know.” Lance looked up at the cryopod, sighing. “Kind of want to, though. It feels wrong to leave my original when he’s hurt like this.”

”Hey-”

”I’ll leave when he wakes up,” he promised. “Just... let me stay here, okay? Just let me... stay.” He might have been created by the Galra, but he really did want to see his original wake up. He really did want to see things go right here.

”We don’t-” Keith started, fumbling over the words. “We- damn it. You can stay here once he wakes up too. I just wanted you to know we’re not keeping you here. You have the whole Castle.”

Lance looked up at him in confusion. They knew he was a clone. That the original was hurt because of his entire existence. Why would they just... let him have free reign?

”Just... never mind,” Keith muttered. “Shiro would have said this better than me.” He turned at those words and left, Lance watching with his brow knit.

It didn’t make sense. Because he was almost so perfectly a replacement, his original had been _tortured._ Because the rest of them wouldn’t have thought to look for his original, he had been hurt so badly that he was still in a cryopod. If he hadn’t been made, this wouldn’t be an issue. They would have known that Lance was missing and found him.

No, this was his fault. He didn’t know why they weren’t blaming him more for it.

”I’m so sorry,” he muttered, leaning up against the cryopod again. “I’m so sorry, original-me. It’s my fault you’re like this. Just... I hope everyone doesn’t hate me for it.”

Lance closed his eyes again, touching the cryopod.

”I’m so sorry, original-me.”


	11. No-one placing blame on me

”Stop.” Keith took a step back at Shiro’s word, breathing raggedly. Damn. “What’s wrong, Keith?” He noticed.

”It’s nothing,” he said roughly. “I promise, Shiro. Nothing.”

That just made Shiro sigh, and walk across the training room to their water bottles. He tossed one to Keith, who took a grateful gulp. “You’re not the only one concerned about the situation with the Lances.”

”I know.” Keith took another sip of water, grimacing. “Just... what do we do?”

He could see Shiro’s hand trembling, the water in his bottle sloshing ever so slightly. The clone Lance may not be an issue on his own, but what he stood for, the Galra experimentation, obviously weighed on Shiro’s mind. “It’s not the clone’s fault,” he finally said. “Whatever we do... it has to be fair to him.”

”Which ‘him’?” At Shiro’s glare, Keith held up a hand. “I know. That wasn’t nice.”

Shiro shook his head. “Not nice, but it needed to be asked. It needs to be fair to both of them. We can’t let it just be convenient for us.”

Keith nodded. No matter what, that was true. They had to keep both of them in mind.

”I’m worried, though.” Shiro’s index finger started tapping on the bottle, mindlessly. “It seems the...” He hesitated, and Keith could see him searching for the right word. “Other Lance,” he finally said cautiously, “won’t leave the med bay.”

A disgruntled grumble came from Keith’s chest. “Told that idiot he didn’t have to stay there...”

”Could you check up on him? After you shower, of course.” Humor filled Shiro’s voice. “Neither of us smell particularly good right now.”

Experimentally, Keith sniffed himself, wrinkling his nose when that proved Shiro correct. “Fine. I take it that means we’re done?”

Shiro nodded. “I don’t think either of us are in a good mindset to continue sparring, to be honest.”

He was probably right. Keith nodded as Shiro clasped his shoulder, and left. A shower and clean clothes awaited him.

But... maybe he’d just peek his head in and see if Lance was still there. Well, Lance would still be there but Lance- this was going to get confusing very quickly. He knew what he meant. Check on the one not in the cryopod.

So he stopped by the med bay. It was out of the way, but that was fine. He had to see if he was still there and- he was. Keith rolled his eyes, ready to leave and shower before coming back and bugging him when he took a second look. He didn’t really look... healthy. Kinda greasy, like he hadn’t showered. Kind of... dehydrated, maybe. Pale.

Damn it.

Keith walked over to Lance, shaking his shoulder. When he didn’t immediately make that whine of being woken up too soon, he shook him harder, frowning. “Lance!” he said loudly, trying to get him to wake up.

Finally, Lance’s eyes cracked open. “Hm?”

”When was the last time you ate?”

”Why do you ask?” Lance asked, his voice slurred with sleep.

Idiot. “Come on,” Keith told him, grabbing his arm and starting to haul him up. “I’m putting some food goo in you, pouring some water down your throat, and putting your dumb ass in an actual bed.”

Lance muttered sleepily, nearly falling over as they walked. “Had a bad dream.”

In some ways, Keith didn’t want to hear this. He didn’t want to know what kind of bad dream someone who just found out they’re a clone would have. “Oh?”

”Dreamt I was a clone. Dreamt people found out and then had no time for me. No use. Got rid of me.”

Ice filled Keith’s veins, then fire. This couldn’t have just sprung out of nowhere. Why would he have thought they had no time or use for him? Why would he have thought they’d get rid of him? “That’s dumb.”

Lance laughed at that. “Knew you’d say that.”

Keith just grumbled at that as he hauled him to the dining hall. He should have seen that coming too. But it made him feel a little better that he was poking a little fun at him. That’s what a Lance _should_ do. “Sit,” he instructed as he settled Lance into a seat. “I’ll get your food and water.”

”Mm.” Lance looked like he was waking up a little bit more. “It wasn’t a dream, was it,” he whispered as the plate of food goo was placed in front of him. “I really am a clone.”

Keith paused, running a hand through his still sweaty hair. “That part’s true, yeah. Eat. And-” He put down a glass of water. “Water.”

Lance just looked at the goo and water for a moment. Finally, slowly, he started eating and drinking, being very quiet. It was a little unnerving. “I should probably get back to the med bay,” he said around a mouthful of goo once the plate was almost cleaned off.

”Shiro would chew my ass out if I let you do that. You’re going to bed.”

”But-”

”I _will_ use underhanded tactics to get you to bed.”

Lance opened his mouth again, then shut it, shaking his head. “Fine,” he muttered. “Not like I have a choice.”

That made Keith pause. Awkwardly, he cleared his throat. “Just... we really care about you. And that means sleeping well.”

Lance paused, and set the spoon down. “Seems like you’re the only one,” he muttered under his breath.

”What was that?”

”Nothing!”

Damn it. Keith let it slide, knowing what he would have to do next. “Come on. Bed.”

Lance grumbled, slowly getting up. He was still swaying a bit, making Keith stay near him as they walked to his - the Lances’ room. Because until further notice, it was both of theirs. Once Lance opened the door and Keith got him at least sitting on the bed, he sighed, letting him go. “Just rest,” Keith muttered. “Get some sleep.”

He heard Lance mumble something, but he wasn’t sure what it was. And he wasn’t about to ask, since Lance was laying down on top of the sheets, closing his eyes.

He didn’t wait for Lance to start snoring before he left, going to find Shiro. Who, thankfully, was in his room and had been out of the shower long enough to get dressed.

”Keith.” Shiro looked surprised. “Is something wrong?”

”Lance thinks we have no use for him and we’re going to get rid of him.”

It was almost _comical_ how the words didn’t register at first, how they seemed to come out of nowhere, and when it hit him, it hit him hard. “What? Why would he think that?”

”I don’t know. But we’re doing something that makes him think that.”

Shiro sighed. “I’ll let the rest of the group know. Thank you, Keith. We’re going to have make it clear to him that if he leaves, it’s his own choice, not because we want him to leave.”

Keith nodded.

”Now go take that shower. You stink.”

”Hey.” Keith laughed a little at that.

Shiro laughed as well, and clasped his shoulder. “I do mean it, Keith. Thank you. You’re a good friend.”

Keith nodded. “Yeah. I guess.”

Shiro squeezed his shoulder. “I’ll call everyone together in a bit.”

”Yeah.” Keith reached up to squeeze Shiro’s hand, and the two of them let each other go as Keith stepped back. “Guess I’ll go take that shower.”

With a wave, Keith left to go to his room, his mind dwelling on Lance’s words. Why would he have thought that? What were they doing?

Damn it.


	12. Remember me? Before the war. I'm the man who lived next door. Long ago...

His fears could not have come out of nowhere. Shiro frowned, ignoring Allura’s glance as he thought, waiting for Keith to arrive. The best way to understand what this Lance was feeling was to ask him directly, but when he went to get him, he hadn’t been at the med bay. He had been in bed, and Shiro hadn’t the heart to move him. Not with that actual peaceful look on his face.

Hunk and Pidge were sitting nearby, talking among themselves, unaware of why the meeting was called. It hurt to see that. But that was a theme among them all. They all didn’t see what was going on until Keith brought it to Shiro’s attention.

Once Keith was done showering, he’d come right over, and they could start talking about this, though. The idea that Lance, the clone, thought he was going to be gotten rid of. What had they done?

It bothered him. As the leader, he should have seen this. He should have seen so much this entire time.

It felt like he failed both the Lances.

Finally, Keith walked in, droplets of water still dripping from his hair. His eyes met Shiro’s, and he nodded. It was time to get started. Shiro cleared his throat, pulling all attention to him.

”I’ve called this meeting to ask a very important question,” he started, Hunk and Pidge leaning closer. “Have you noticed something off about the other Lance?”

”You mean other than he’s a clone?” Pidge muttered.

”Has he been particularly depressed or standoffish?”

”He hasn’t left his original’s side,” Allura mused. “And he usually pretends to be asleep when one of us visits.”

”Has he said anything in particular?”

Shiro watched them look at each other, seeing if the other had an answer, and getting shrugs and head shakes in return. “I haven’t spoken to him at all since the rescue,” Allura admitted.

“It seemed the best to allow him time with his original,” Coran continued, stroking his mustache. “The information we learned, and then his actual state must have been a huge shock to him.”

”I haven’t talked to him either,” Pidge said, and when Hunk admitted the same, Shiro started to see a chilling theme. “I mean, we’ve all been busy or he’s pretended to be asleep and not wanting to be talked to, right?”

”Since when did Lance not want to be talked to?” Keith asked, crossing his arms.

”I thought it was like what Coran said.” Hunk looked down at his fingers. “They’ve both gone through a lot. And I thought he just wanted to be reminded that his original was- alive.”

Shiro looked over at Keith, seeing the other’s eyes closed in irritation. And he understood that too well. He felt the same, especially aimed inward. Shiro should have taken on a leadership role and talked to him. But-

”You know he thinks he’s being ignored and he’s going to be gotten rid of, right? That we have no use for him and we’re going to toss him away?”

Keith’s words slapped all of them across the face. “But- that-” Allura spluttered, taken off guard.

”We haven’t talked to him since we got his original,” Keith pointed out. “Probably since we found out, since we were busy coming up with how we were getting on Zvezdana’s ship. And this is Lance.”

Hunk’s eyes were wide. “We were being _jerks._ ”

”Assholes,” Pidge corrected.

”Regardless,” Shiro cut in, sparing a glare at Pidge, “we’ve given Lance a bad impression. If he’s going to leave, it’s not going to be because of us. We need to let him make his own decision here. And no matter what, this is still Lance we’re talking about here. We need to be fair to him.”

”Am I going to be the first to point out we still don’t know if he’s programmed in any way or not?” Pidge spoke up.

”We’re going to have to give him the benefit of a doubt. Treating him like he’s a possible threat isn’t fair to him.”

Shiro watched everyone nod, and felt something relax inside him. These were good people. He opened his mouth, only for a beep to interrupt him. Coran jumped at the sound, going over to a nearby panel. “Good news, Paladins! Lance is due to wake in a few more ticks!”

Keith looked over at Shiro, waiting to see what he did next. What he decided here. Which was the obvious thing: “Meeting over. Let’s go to the med bay.”

Pidge and Hunk scrambled to their feet, racing out of the room. Allura and Coran followed a little more graciously but no less urgently. Keith and Shiro locked eyes, and Shiro nodded at him. “Go. I’ll catch up.”

Keith nodded back, and left. Which left Shiro to run a hand through his hair, letting out a shaky breath. He hadn’t realized what was going on. Something as simple as not talking to someone, as thinking they needed _space_ when they were a social creature, and not only that, had just learned they had been created recently by their enemy...

He had felt more like a failure of a leader before, but this was in his top five failures.

Shiro finally managed a deep, calm breath. With that, he followed the rest of the team down to the med bay, ready for when Lance finally woke up.

They could at least be for one of them.


	13. Now I'm here and won't go back believe.

He woke slowly. There was no pain, so he didn’t want to wake up. It felt so nice to be asleep for once, and not that it was an escape. But why was it an escape- his sleepy mind struggled for context to that thought. It wanted to retreat back into unconsciousness, but he felt his body wake more and more.

Something hissed around him and tipped him forward. He stumbled, his eyes starting to open just a little as someone caught him. Whoever it was had strong arms. It felt nice. Lance made a noise, approving, as he gripped the arms holding him. His eyes finally opened enough to see who had caught him, the first impression he got being bright orange.

Coran?

There was another set of hands steadying him, and he felt metal fingers. Shiro? What... why were they here? The commander-

Just the thought of her figure made his head snap up in terror. Lance’s head whipped around, barely seeing what was around him. All he needed to know was where the bitch was. She had to be nearby. He had to tell them to go-!

”Lance. Lance.” Shiro’s voice was soothing. “You’re back in the Castle. You’re okay. It’s okay.”

He couldn’t be. This was a dream or something. It had to be. His hands didn’t hurt. That only happened in dreams.

”You’re safe now. It’s okay. You’re okay here.”

No- no he couldn’t-

”You’re okay, Lance. It’s okay.”

Finally, Lance looked over at Shiro. “Where’s the bitch?” he finally asked, swallowing a few times. His throat felt so dry.

”Dead,” came Keith’s voice, and Lance’s head whipped over to meet Keith’s gaze.

And then it hit him what he said.

The bitch was _dead._

This had to be a dream.

Lance started to laugh, hysteria bubbling in him. This couldn’t be real life. He couldn’t be actually here. This couldn’t be real. The laughter started to hitch in his chest, his hands gripping Coran’s arms tighter. It couldn’t be- He couldn’t actually be-

Oh God was he actually okay?

Slowly, he let go of Coran, starting to straighten up. Coran and Shiro let him go, but Shiro kept his hands close. Making sure he was steady. Lance looked around, searching first for Pidge. She had been strangled- but she was okay. Keith was okay, Hunk was there, looking worried and happy. Allura- everyone was there and how was this real. He looked down at his hands, flexing them. His hands didn’t hurt.

”Ah, I should probably examine you now that you’re awake,” he heard Coran say. “You had gone through a lot, and it’s quite a bit of trauma for the cryopods.”

Coran’s voice faded away as a thought slammed into him. His clone. The bitch had told him he had a clone. If that was true, where was he? Was he okay?

His clone wasn’t here. For whatever reason. Lance furrowed his brow, still looking around and-

It was a little disorienting, to the point he felt Shiro’s hand on his chest. But that was his own face by the entrance, looking in. And the intense look of worry on his face- damn it. He had made his clone worry about him.

He was a terrible original.

  


* * *

  


When he woke, it was with a snap. The memory of being told he was a clone, of his original lying in a cryopod woke him. Lance sat up, the fact he was in bed meaning that his memory about Keith making him eat wasn’t a dream. It also meant he wasn’t with his original. He had to be there when he woke.

Quickly, he slipped out of (his original’s. Not his) bed, rushing down to the med bay. He had to get there.

As he came up on the med room, he heard voices. Worry seized his heart; it was probably that his original woke up, but what if something had happened to him? What if he was hurt so badly the cryopods couldn’t-

His feet skidded to a stop as he saw everyone crowded around the cryopod. And in the middle was his original- God, was it ever going to stop feeling disorienting to see his own face outside of a mirror? But his original was okay.

He didn’t see if his original was looking at him. Everyone else was making sure he was okay.

They didn’t need him.

  


* * *

  


His clone was leaving. Lance opened his mouth, trying to make him stop. Stay. Even if he was a terrible original, that didn’t mean he had to leave.

”If you’ll follow me over here,” Coran interrupted him, hand touching his bicep. “I need to take a reading on your vitals.”

”Yeah, but-”

”Is something wrong, Lance?” Shiro asked, every part of him instantly screaming worry.

He looked back at the empty entrance.

His clone wanted nothing to do with him. Made sense. He was a terrible original.

”No.”


	14. The light is green, my slate is clean

Lance was, generally, healthy. It made Shiro feel a little better to see him shovelling Hunk’s food into his mouth, the haunted look on his face smoothing slightly at the taste of familiar food. He wanted to stay here, to watch this. To remember that his team was still together, that he wasn’t a complete failure of a leader.

But there was still someone missing. Shiro turned, leaving quietly to find the other Lance. He must still be sleeping. It hurt Shiro to realize they forgot to wake him up when his original woke up. If the other Lance decided to stay, they needed to remember there was an extra person on board. They would need to remember there were two Lances.

He would need to remember.

When he reached Lance’s bedroom, he lifted his hand to knock, pausing for a brief moment. The other Lance might hate him for this. Or he might withdraw more when he found out his original was awake and he hadn’t been alerted.

But it would be worse if he left now, and he wasn’t a complete failure of a leader to allow that.

Shiro knocked.

No one answered. That wasn’t exactly unexpected; Lance was known to sleep deeply, if not to have headphones on. He knocked again, hoping that would wake him up. It was a crapshoot if that would actually happen, though.

Nothing.

Finally, Shiro sighed. If needed sleep that badly, he let him have it. He’d been through so much as well. Shiro would just need to make sure to find him once he woke.

He started back to the dining hall, then paused. A thought made his path turn to the med bay, hoping he was wrong. If the other Lance saw that-

His steps quickened at that, hoping he was wrong.

Lance’s form in front of an empty cryopod made his heart sink, realizing he wasn’t wrong.

Slowly, Shiro came up behind him, making sure to make noise with each footfall. Lance turned his head slightly, but didn’t turn around. “He’s in the dining hall,” Shiro told him quietly. “He’s okay.”

”Thanks,” Lance said abruptly, turning his head back to look at the cryopod.

Damn it. Shiro didn’t know what to do. They had already messed up so badly with him. How could they let him know they didn’t mean any of it? “You’re welcome to come.”

Lance snorted. “Nah. It’s okay.”

”We’re not-”

Shiro’s words were cut off as Lance sharply held up a hand. “Just-” The hand balled into a fist, and lowered to his side.

He didn’t really know what to say to that.

Instead, he stood there with Lance for a few moments longer, not wanting to let him be alone. They had done that before, when they shouldn’t have. This time, he was going to be there for him.

So he let Lance stare at the cryopod his original used to be in, and stood there in silence.

  


* * *

  


He would need to find a new place to sleep. The room was his original’s, not his. There were probably a lot of rooms he could use, though. A castle would have to house visitors, right? So there would have to be rooms he could use until they kicked him off.

He should probably ask Allura or Coran about that, but...

Lance sighed. Would they even want to see his face now that his original woke up?

But nothing was getting done like this. Finally, Lance turned towards the bridge. He wished he had pockets, but he felt like it was wrong to put on the civilian clothes. Those belonged to his original. Maybe that could be something as well. Clothes, something other than his flight suit.

Just as he thought, Allura was there. She turned slightly, taking a moment to study him before her face brightened slightly. “Ah! I had worried I wouldn’t see you again. Are you well, Lance?”

She had to be thinking he was the original. “I’m the clone, Allura,” he nearly bit out.

”I- I know.” Oh wow, he didn’t really mean to make her sound so hurt. He really was just fucking up everywhere. “I did worry I wouldn’t see you again.”

Lance looked away. Knowing Allura, she probably meant that. That meant he had just been an asshole.

”Is everything okay?” she asked, her voice concerned.

”Yeah.” Lance plastered a bright smile on his face, looking back at her. “Yeah, I just had a question. Um...” Start with the clothes. He plucked his flight suit, making a face. “Kinda think I’ve worn this long enough. Is there anywhere I can get some kind of clothing?”

She looked confused for a moment, opening her mouth to speak, then closed it. “Ah.” Allura tilted her head, thinking. “I do believe there is something.”

”Also.” God, this was awkward. “Is there like- a guest bedroom or somewhere I can stay?”

Allura stared at him for a moment. “I see.” Lance looked down at his feet. “We have room where we would house visiting diplomats. I can bring you clothing to one of the rooms.”

Lance just nodded.

”Is there anything else I can do for you?”

Why was she being nice now? “That’s all.”

There was quiet for a moment, then Allura clapped her hands. “Then I should show you to your new room! If you will follow me?”

He nodded again, following her. He didn’t know why she was suddenly being nice and paying attention to him, but it didn’t matter. The original Lance was awake. They’d forget about him soon.

  


* * *

  


It had taken several days, but Keith had finally managed to catch the other Lance (Lance 2? Did Lance have a middle name he could call him by?) in the dining hall. All of them had felt bad about how they had treated him, and he knew they all wanted to do something for him. And Keith knew exactly what he wanted to do. It would normalize things. Prove he didn’t think of the other Lance as an outsider.

And there he was. Eating while Hunk was wringing his hands behind him. Keith could see the worry on his face, and knew it wasn’t just if the food was good. But Keith had a really good idea. One of his best.

”Hey. Spar with me.”

Lance froze, fork halfway to his mouth. “Right now?” he asked, disbelievingly.

”Well-” Okay, maybe not his best idea. “You know. When you’re done.”

Slowly, Lance put the fork down. “Look,” he said, and even Keith could hear the anger bubbling under the surface. “You don’t need to do this.”

”Lance-”

”Where the fuck were all of you before?” The words were almost a physical blow as Lance stood. “When I found out I was a clone, where were you guys? After we got my original back, when he woke up- And now you think you can just be nice- Why the fuck are you guys nice _now_? Why-” Lance’s mouth shut suddenly, his hands balling into fists at his sides. “No,” he finally said, his voice poisonous. “I don’t want to spar with you, Keith.” He turned to glare at Hunk. “And no, I don’t want dessert. Just-” He shook his head, and started out of the room, not even bothering to touch Keith as he went.

Keith looked over at Hunk, knowing his eyes were just as wide as Hunk’s.

”I think we messed up,” Hunk finally said, quietly.

Keith nodded.

  


* * *

  


They all thought they could just-

Lance took a deep breath, sagging against the wall. God. He shouldn’t have blown up at them like that. They were trying. It was just- they ignored him when he needed them. And now they were trying to be nice.

Slowly, he looked up at the ceiling, his vision starting to blur. When he blinked, there was wetness against his lashes, tears falling down his face. Damn it. And now he yelled at Keith and Hunk. Yelled at them for trying to do the right thing.

Lance sniffled, wiping his eyes. Yeah, yelling at people who wanted to do the right thing would definitely make things better. He was just being great here. Really making them want to keep him around.

He pushed off the wall, continuing down the hall. He should just go back to his room. Just stay there. Lance closed his eyes, then opened them, still walking. Maybe he should just walk for a little bit. Just wander.

He didn’t know where his feet would lead him until he got there.

Kind of exciting.

But when they stopped, he was looking into the airlock. The memory of being sucked out into space filled him, the absolute terror slamming into him. But that had never happened to him. He just had the memory of it.

Lance continued to look in, almost fascinated. If he pushed the button...

”Hey.”

His own voice made him jump. But he hadn’t said anything. He saw someone come up beside him out of the corner of his eye, and he snapped his head over to see who it was.

”You doing okay?” his original asked.


	15. New life to fill the hole in me

Disorienting. Looking at his own face, so gaunt and pale still, and hearing his own voice talking when he wasn’t talking, it wasn’t a recording, and it expected him to respond was so, so disorienting. It was so disorienting to be in what he remembered to be his own room, be sitting on his own bed, only to see what he knew was his original sitting on the bed across from him. “I told you I’m fine, original-me.”

His original shook his head. “You don’t think I don’t recognize that look on myself? I just-” He broke off, looking down at his crossed ankles. “We haven’t talked since we woke up. I saw you once and you’ve been avoiding me since.”

Lance looked away. He really had. “It’s nothing.”

”Bullshit.” Lance chuckled at the flat tone in his original’s voice. Yeah, he would look through that. “I know no version of me wouldn’t be looking at the airlock like that without something being wrong.”

Lance looked back at his original, seeing the intense look on his face. “Yeah. I guess so.”

”So what’s wrong?”

How did he explain this? How did he explain the feeling of uselessness, of being alone? Past what they already felt? The feeling that since they got their Lance back, they would be disposing of him? “Look, I- I’m not needed here, right? Ever since they got you back, they haven’t been paying attention to me. I’m pretty much...”

”Worthless?” his original supplied when his voice trailed off. “Yeah. I get that.”

”I mean like-”

His original looked him in the eyes, face full of understanding. “Like why would they keep you when they have someone that hasn’t fucked up?” He looked down at his ankles, clasping them. “Like how I feel, when I realize I made my clone worry about me because I was dumb enough to be separated from the group and get caught?”

Lance frowned. “Why would you worry about that?”

”Probably the same reason you worry about me.”

”Yeah, but that-” Lance flailed. “I’m the reason you spent so much time with her. If I hadn’t been created, you would have been found faster. I’m practically taking your place here.” His teeth grit. “I shouldn’t even be talking to you right now.”

”By your logic, I should be the one hiding.” Lance blanched at that. “I mean, you carved a place here, right? And I’m taking that place you had.”

”But you’re the original!”

”And you’re still a person!”

”I’m just a clone!”

”That doesn’t matter!” His original gripped his ankles tighter, breathing raggedly. “You’re a person. You deserve to have a spot here. If I’m here, then I’m taking _your_ spot. I’m being the intruder here.” His original looked down for a moment, his arms shaking visibly. “Damn it... I’m even failing you now. I should have gone after you when I saw you when I woke up. I should have made sure you knew you deserve to be here too.”

Lance swallowed. Damn it. He was being a bad clone if he made his original think that. “You haven’t failed me at all,” he finally said.

”I think the only good thing I did was not give in to that bitch when she told me about you. I didn’t want to disappoint you too.”

Lance stopped. “You- you didn’t want to disappoint me?”

”Well, yeah? I mean, it makes sense. You would have been disappointed in me if I gave into torture and gave her what she wanted. I would have been. I didn’t want you to be disappointed.”

Lance blinked. “I... I wouldn’t be. You’re a good original-me.”

His original shook his head. “That just sounds... wrong. Like you’re not a person. Maybe we should stop thinking of ourselves as ‘original’ and ‘clone.’ Because you’re a person. You’re... just as much a person as I am. Maybe more.”

Lance didn’t have anything to answer to that.

”So uh...” His original- no, Lance. He was right. He should stop thinking of themselves that way. “You know. You have a place here.” Lance rocked a bit, biting his lip. “If you want it, I mean.”

If he wanted it.

Did he want it?

”If I stayed, we’d need to find something to call me. Both our names being ‘Lance’ would just be confusing after a while.”

Lance smiled, his eyes sparkling. “You remember the nickname we gave ourselves as a kid?”

”Lancelot?” He paused, then smiled back. “Man, we were dorks.”

”Eeeeeh?” Lance spread his arms wide. “It’s a good idea, right?”

He wasn’t wrong.

But the question was: Did he want to stay?

It was a hard question. He felt like he didn’t fit in after finding out he was a clone. But... he didn’t know anyone else. Where would he go? And more than that, even still, this felt like family.

And he didn’t want to lose his family.

Lancelot smiled. “Doesn’t change the fact we’re dorks.”

Lance just grinned back. “You know if you stay, that means only one thing.” He leaned in, Lancelot doing the same. “Double pranking action. Keith won’t know what hit him.”

Laughter hit Lancelot hard. He could easily picture the look on Keith’s face. Hell, he could easily picture the look on _Shiro’s_ face if they got him.

Maybe he might stay. For a little bit.

Wouldn’t want to disappoint Lance.


	16. Epilogue: You ask are all my dreams fulfilled

_Five months later..._

”Hey Pidge, can I ask a favor?”

Pidge looked up over the translated Galra text. It had gotten boring, and nothing in it even hinted towards anything having to do with her dad or brother. A few things about Shiro, but nothing they hadn’t already known. Basically useless. And it wouldn’t have mattered because when a Lance came to talk, the rule was to put aside everything. It didn’t matter if it was Lance or Lancelot. You listened. “Sure, what’s up?”

Which one was this? Probably Lance. Lancelot wasn’t exactly comfortable with them yet after what they had done. She didn’t blame him. Pidge studied the mouth, realizing she was right when she saw the faint scarring. Fucking Zvezdana. She didn’t want to know what had been in or around his mouth for that.

”I need your help with something.”

She sat up a little more. He didn’t usually ask for help from her. What could it be? “With what?” she asked, interested.

His eyes sparkled, and she suddenly understood at least what he wanted her help with. She grinned, leaning forward as he came over to cup his hands around her ear, whispering.

As he spoke, her grin grew wider and wider. Oh this would be fun. “Yeah. I can do that. You need anymore help than that?”

”Nah. I think Lancelot and I got the rest of this.”

Oh, this sounded like too much fun. “Going for Allura or Shiro?”

”Shiro, I think. Be more interesting. But then again, it would be the best if we got them both.”

”Cool, definitely can do that.”

Lance gave her a thumbs up, making her laugh. “Awesome, one of us will be back once we work out the rest of the details. You’re the best.”

That made Pidge’s smile crumble a little bit. She’d been a royal bitch to Lancelot in the past, and she knew it. Made it hard to hear a Lance tell her she was the best. “Yeah.”

”You know he doesn’t hate you for it.”

”He doesn’t exactly forgive me either,” Pidge pointed out. “I wasn’t exactly nice, and we both know saying ‘sorry’ doesn’t change what happened.”

”Yeah, but...” Lance looked away. “I mean, you guys said you’re sorry. And you’ve made sure to make him a part of the group ever since then.”

Her smile crumbled more. Lancelot had been off to the side each time, jumping each time someone spoke directly to him. Goddamn it, they hadn’t meant to do that to him. “Yeah.”

”It’ll... just take some time, Pidge.”

”If he ever forgives me,” she said darkly. “I was fucking cruel to him. Past just the unintentional ignoring we did.”

”Don’t give up hope. I mean, he’s starting to talk to Keith of his own free will. _Keith_ , Pidge.” Lance gave her wide, betrayed eyes. “And Keith’s being _nice_ to him. They’re not being rivals!”

That pulled a laugh from her. “You knew he’d start being his own person eventually, right?”

”I kinda hoped he would be.” Lance ran a hand through his hair, exhaling. “I mean, he _is_ his own person. And I guess I’m kinda glad that he gets along with Keith? Even if Keith sucks? It means he’s not trying to be me anymore and letting himself be Lancelot.”

”Yeah, I get it.” Pidge sighed, looking down for a moment. The Lances may have huge hearts, but she had a feeling her cold comments about clones and programming may have ruined anything she could have built with Lancelot. No, she was pretty certain of it. “So one of you will be coming back here once you have it all set up?”

Lance nodded, looking relieved to stop talking about that. “Yeah. Shouldn’t take too long.”

”Cool, cool. I’ll set up my end of it too.”

Lance grinned at her. “Awesome. See you in a bit!”

Pidge grinned back until he left. Her head fell back onto the back of her chair once he was gone as she groaned, her grin fading. It really did sound fun. But shit, being reminded of how shitty she had been to another human being... Hopefully this would help smooth things over with Lancelot too. The others were starting to make up for their fuckups. It was about time she did the same.

She took a deep breath, exiting out of her translation program and pulling up her recording software. Good idea to get started, then.

  


* * *

  


“H-hey...” 

Pidge glanced up in his direction, making him feel guilty for interrupting her. He quickly glanced at his feet, rocking himself on the heels, his hands in the pockets. 

“Hey. Is it time? I got my part of the deal. Now I only need you.” _Need._ She must be mistaken. She didn’t need him. She already had a program that could imitate his voice without him even speaking. But it felt good, so good to hear he was _needed_ that he let it slide. 

“So you have the make up? Great then,” Lancelot said when she pulled it up for him to see. “Do you know how to apply it or should I? This needs to be convincing.” 

“Sure. I was never interested in make up, but I can pull off what you need.” 

“Hey, Pidge...” 

“Yeah?” 

“Thank you.” This time he looked into her eyes. 

“No problem. Are you ready, cause we need to start. We are soooooooo behind schedule. Did you get his clothes too?” 

He nodded, showing her the bag he brought. When the wicked grin crossed her face, he smiled. He wasn’t sure about pranking anyone on the ship, because he didn’t want to be yelled at or for people to get angry at him and put him on ignore, but he was reassured by both Pidge and Lance that they would take the fall. Lance had wanted to prank Keith few times, but the more and more Lancelot thought about it, the more he thought it was a bad idea. While he was up for it earlier, Keith had been really kind to him for the past few months. It wouldn’t be _fair_ to do something like this to him. He became afraid of losing his only friend. That was weird... did Keith even consider him friend? What if he wasn’t- No. He would not think that way. Lance always made sure to remind him that yes, as sad as it was, he needed to start over with the friendships. So far, he only managed to do so with Keith. But he was partly to blame for that. He wasn’t exactly open to new friendships right now. Lance said it was okay, and to let them roast for what they had done a bit more. 

He just needed to do his part. It shouldn’t be that hard.... _right?_

  


* * *

  


Hunk was bored. While he had participated in the group training, he almost never practiced outside it. But he was bored out of his mind, so he had to do _something._ Even if it meant sparring with Keith, who was the only one around, except Coran who was checking up training area systems. 

Keith didn’t mind his proposal to spar. He actually welcomed it, and thus Coran put them through hell. Hunk didn’t want to give up though. He didn't want the Lance duo scenario to happen again. Someone needed to protect Lances. Both of them. And given that he was the second ranged attacker, that task fell on him.

They had rarely allowed Lancelot to go on the missions, because there was still problem of Lancelot's possible reprogramming. Even though they knew Zvezdana was dead, and that the clone research was still worked upon, no one wanted to risk exposing Lancelot to danger of going alone on missions, with the possibility of his capture. In fact, no one went alone on missions any more. When they were outside of the lions, Hunk was always there with Lance, never too far away, and always helping him out. When Lancelot was with them, even if they didn't really actually talk, he made sure to keep him safe by always making sure he was in his sight.

Not only that, but the clone research they had investigated more into showed a troubling problem. The reason why Lancelot’s memory took a while to return, at least the older ones, was because of his original. Because the cloning was imperfect, Lancelot's quintessence had still been connected to the memories of Lance. He was literally retrieving the old data from another hard disk, while having quite a new one in his head. Things he had relearned to do, however, he didn’t need time to remember. He did those things flawlessly, like hitting bullseye, for example. The things he remembered once were now “copied” to his brain, so there was no delay there either. 

But there was one big problem. If the original died, Lancelot would become brain dead, because they couldn't sever the link. The same would have happened had Zvezdana decided to probe around his head or straight out kill Lance. They would have had one brain dead clone and no one would know. He had to guess that their twisted idea of gift - aka, Lancelot - being imperfect was all part of plan so that when they killed Lance, they wouldn’t have Lancelot to replace the Blue Paladin. 

He blocked few hits of Keith’s sword with his shield, then rolled away, and hit Keith from the side. Keith stumbled, falling, but quickly regained his balance, but that was all the time Hunk needed to get in the safe range. 

When they finally breached the topic of reprogramming with Lance, they were relieved to hear that Zvezdana had let it slip that Lancelot wasn't programmed while trying to break him. That, and Lance's relaxed demeanor towards Lancelot, made them realize that the main reason they were avoiding Lancelot was because they were afraid that Lance would blame them for paying attention to something that shouldn't be there. But they were all wrong. Lancelot was as much real as Lance, and they had hurt his feelings too many times. It wasn't easy to repair broken trust, or to make Lancelot believe in them again. He failed him as a friend. 

They didn’t keep Lancelot inside the whole time either. He was allowed to go outside on the friendly planets, of course, but never on hostile. When it came time to fight in their Lions, Lance almost always flew the Blue Lion, while Lancelot stayed at the castle and helped Coran and Allura with defense. He had gotten few times to fly the Blue Lion, but only when there was no risk of him being captured. No one wanted to risk someone reprogramming him. When they told this to Lancelot, he took it surprisingly well and didn't complain. 

The training room’s door opened, surprising Hunk slightly. Both of them stopped and looked in the direction of the door. 

It was one of the Lances. But which one? 

When Lance(lot?) closed to them, he finally saw the faint scarring on his mouth. Lance then.

”Hey Lance, what’s up?” Hunk asked, while Keith lowered his bayard.

”Uh… nothing! All is okay! But I, uh, need the training room. You need to get out of there. It’s very important.”

Then Coran’s voice boomed over the speakerphone. “What did you say Lance? I didn’t hear you?”

Before Lance could say anything, Keith interrupted. “He needs the training room for something. We are done here anyway.”

”Lance, before that, I’ve gotta ask. How’s Lancelot?”

It looked like Lance had jerked back, but quickly corrected his stance. _Weird._ “He’s… he’s okay. He’s bonding with Pidge.”

”For real? I’m glad. He needs it. She one tough nut to crack. I wish he would come to me willingly.” Hunk sighed, shaking his head. “Every time I went to approach him when he was alone, he basically ran away. He has been avoiding me for months. Pretty much ever since that outburst he had when Keith asked him to spar. Uh. I probably shouldn’t have said that.” He laughed a little, self-conscious. “It wasn’t mine to tell. Well.” He shrugged. “I don’t blame him for it, but I wish he would talk to me too. I was a jerk to him. I am, I mean, _I was_ his friend, but I want to let him know that I want to be friends with him again. You know? How do I do that if he won’t approach me willingly?”

”He will come around it eventually, I guess.” It looked like Lance was suddenly very twitchy and uncomfortable. The Lance they all knew was super confident and easy going. This looked like… how Lancelot would react. Maybe he had another flashback so he was shaken. 

”We need to leave, Hunk. If you need Coran to get out too, tell him.” They both knew that Lance had asked for training room for a reason. No one could hear because of the sound proof walls. Maybe he needed to go out on something.

”Uh… Hey Coran… Could you please go outside too? I really need this.”

”Of course Lance, anything for the two of you.”

Lance twitched again and looked at his feet. He was acting weird, and Hunk almost asked if something was wrong when Keith’s hand on his shoulder, stopping him before he could.

”Let’s just go. Trust me. Bye, _Lance._ ”

Lance suddenly blanched at that comment but Hunk let it slide. Keith’s instincts were never wrong. He had to trust them.

  


* * *

  


When they exited the training room, Keith quickly took Hunk by his sleeve and pulled him where he was, not allowing him to go before he told him.

”That wasn’t Lance. That was Lancelot.” He looked at Hunk who paled momentarily.

”But how? He had the scars around his mouth. Only Lance has scars!”

He spent too much time with Lancelot to notice his habits. Slight look to the left, to his feet, slower reactions. 

”Oh god, oh god oh god, I told him all of that. Oh god, I must have freaked him out, now he will never approach me on his own!”

”Don’t worry. At least now he will believe that you really want to be his friend. He wouldn’t believe me when I told him. He believes only Lance, but when it comes to stuff like these, he believes only in himself. He needed to hear that,” Keith reassured him, and smiled when he saw the panic replaced by huge grin.

”Well, it was about time. What do you think they are planning?”

”I don’t know, but it’s gonna be great. I’m sure Pidge knows something. How about we go there?”

”Yeah, sure. Let’s go.”

_Good luck, Lancelot._

Keith thought, as they headed towards the hangars.

  


* * *

  


Lancelot internally screamed so much his head started to hurt. At least the plan was set into the motion. 

Hunk… confused him. He didn’t know he felt that way. Those words hit like solid blows, hurt him because he hurt another person, _he hurt him_ and he didn’t mean to do that, oh god, _he didn’t want to do that!_

But then the words registered. Hunk was hurt because he didn’t give him a chance. He was the only one whom he still avoided. Because he was his best friend. Because he was there every time he needed support. In the Garrison, in here. But then he remembered that he was not the Lance he needed. He had gotten his Lance back. Why would he want to be friends with him too?

He was falling into one of his self-pitying moods again. He shouldn’t. He had a task in front of him and if he started crying, it would ruin their whole plan.

When he found out he was a clone, he thought that they would get rid of him. How was the question. He wanted to live. He loved living, even if he was alive for less than a year. Going anywhere, living anywhere, as long as it was living... Earth would have been a good idea, but he wouldn’t have gone back to his family. It would only hurt him more when Lance came back. He would have to leave again. He thought it was better to just put him on a friendly planet where he could live with the peaceful aliens. Not a bad idea… 

He had been afraid for a moment they would kill him. But nothing could beat the fear that they would get rid of him on another planet, without giving him a choice to stay or choose where he would go. Like throwing out the trash.

But now, with things had changed. He had regained good relationships with about everyone else. Coran and Allura were aliens. They didn’t know they hurt him. He forgave them for that, because he was as alien as they were. He found out when Coran told him that Allura wanted to ask him how he felt and if he needed anything, when he was waiting for Lance to wake up. Coran confessed that he stopped Allura from doing so, because he believed Lancelot needed space. He apologized, sincerely, and Lance accepted it. Ever since then, he always smiled when Allura or Coran said hello to him in the hallway, talked to them, asked them what they needed help with. After all, it was now his duty to take care of the castle with the two Alteans.

Rebonding with others had been a little harder.

He knew Keith was the only one who truly cared. Pidge was a work in progress, but she had been the most distrustful when they found out about him being a clone. He didn’t blame her for that; he wouldn't trust himself either when he found about programming clones. But it had hurt to see that look of distrust on her face. So he usually avoided looking her into eyes. He didn’t want to see that look again. But he was working on it.

Shiro was… well… also work in progress. He had been experimented on in the past, and Lancelot being Galra made had not helped. Shiro was always the one starting conversations, and Lanceot listened, responding when he needed to. He had to change that, but it was _something_. It was a progress. Lance had praised him for all the progress he had made. It made him happy.

It made him happy to know his original approved of him. He loved that Lance validated him as a real person, someone different than he himself.

He would do anything for his… brother. God! It was so weird calling him brother, but he liked it. That was really more what he was, anyway. Lance still had nightmares, and Lancelot would help him through it. Or when he felt down, Lance always helped him through it and reassured him that it was okay. That all would be okay. It was like they were each other's brother, not a clone and an original.

In a way, he enjoyed what was about to happen too. The prank would work. He had managed to trick Hunk, but he had that chilling thought that Keith saw through him. It wouldn’t have been the first time, perceptive as he was.

When they finished this, he would seek out Hunk. Mend what was broken. It had been too long...

He waited.

  


* * *

  


“Hey Pidge, just checking. Is Lancelot with you?” Lance broadcasted over the coms, looking in the direction of Shiro and Allura. They were doing inventory check, while Lance was cleaning dust on the other side of the storage room. It was time for the plan to start. 

“Sure,” replied Pidge, followed momentarily by Lancelot’s voice.

“Yeah, I’m here. Do you need something? Cause I’m helping Pidge with the Blue Lion’s modifications and she’s got me pretty tied up to this place until we finish.”

He noticed Shiro and Allura stopped what they were working on for a moment, and then pretended that they were still writing on their tablets. But he knew they weren’t. They were probably just writing gibberish right now, to pretend they weren’t listening.

After all, the things have never been the same, ever since the greatest duo of Lances came into existence. Yes, they were _awesome_ this way. Instead of one parade, they should have _two,_ for each of them. He nodded at the thought, but then again, he forgot himself and what he was doing for just a moment. “Yeah, I need you to stay there, I want to bring you something to eat after I’m done here. It shouldn’t be too long. Have you eaten already?”

”Uh… I-” 

”No. He didn’t. At least not for 8 hours. I told him to get a break and go eat something, but he was stubborn and refused to go. For the record, and just so you all know, I’m not the one to blame. I tried.” Pidge added, sounding tired and sighing in defeat.

”Pidge, don’t let him get away, I’ll come soon to bring him food. I repeat, don’t let him escape. Also, I’ll bring food for you too. You won’t get away either.” Lance looked closely for reactions of Shiro and Allura. In one way he was glad to see the worry on their faces. But also not what he wanted. He… didn't want to worry them, but he loved the fact that they still worried about Lancelot. “Do you hear me? I’ll personally send Hunk to bring you the food. And you don’t want to mess with him. You both know he is stronger than Shiro, and that he can bring you both here so we can scold you. ”

Shiro looked up from what he was ‘working’ on to add to his statement. “Yes, Hunk is stronger than me, and I don’t doubt that he would refuse to hunt you down. Stay put, wait for the food, or I will go there personally too.”

The only thing they heard was Pidge saying _don’t worry I won’t let him get away,_ at the same time as Lance said _okay_ with such sadness, that if he didn’t know what they were up too, he would have believed in it.

The coms went dead after that so he continued cleaning for a bit longer. It was progressing nicely, the plan, the cleaning, when his hand suddenly twitched and he dropped the equipment on the floor. 

Shiro and Allura immediately reacted to the noise, heads snapping in his direction. But they knew. They knew that his hands sometimes froze, even when he wasn’t having a flashback. _Not now, not now, I need you, don’t freeze damn it!_ He looked at Allura, smiling sheepishly. “Sorry.” But he knew she didn’t blame him. Nightmares, freezing up, sleep paralysis and flashbacks of his torture weren’t anything new. They happened, but usually at night. 

But now he needed those hands!

Actually, this could help.

“Hey, Shiro? Allura? I wanted to show you something. It’s very important. Can you meet me at the training room? I’ll be there before you know it.”

He could see the worried look turn into confusion, but they quickly recovered. “Okay. What about you?” Shiro asked, frowning.

“Someone’s gotta clean up the mess. Just go and leave it to me. I’ll teleport there.”

“But we don’t have teleporters! If we had I would have known-”

“It’s just a saying, Allura,” Shiro said and then quickly apologized to her after she gave him the look of _oh you didn’t just interrupt me._ He laughed sheepishly and then nodded for them to go. 

Lance knew that the crew now would drop anything they were working on if any of Lances needed favors. Especially when it was Lancelot. But there was a problem of Lancelot being too afraid to ask, fearing that he would be ignored. He understood that fear, but he knew that the crew now would do anything for them. Anything. He rarely asked anything of them, except for Lance and Keith.

Keith. FUCKING KEITH. The only reason why he wasn’t pranked yet was because Lancelot didn’t want to do it. When he asked why, the other replied that Keith was the only one who took his precious time to hang around and help someone like him. That he was the only one who genuinely cared for him. That he had taken time out while Lance was healing to make sure he ate and slept, the only one to pay attention to him that entire time. Lancelot didn’t want to destroy the only friendship he himself made.

Lance had frowned, remembering that the crew had subconsciously ignored his clone, remembering the hurt and nervous shy wreck they had left, made by their actions. He was still angry on behalf of his clone. No. He stopped thinking of him as his clone a long time ago. In a way, he became that twin brother he never had. It fulfilled the hole in him, having another family member near his side. It made him smile.

But now he had a prank to pull.

  


* * *

  


Shiro was suspicious. His gut was telling him that something was wrong. But he quickly cast it aside and glanced towards Allura who had just nodded at him. They would go, because they had this new rule, and no one wanted to break it.

They strolled through the hallway, not talking at all. The castle was quiet as usual.

His thoughts strayed to Lancelot as they walked. Lancelot became quieter version of Lance. When they were together, he usually didn’t speak unless spoken too, as if he thought he shouldn’t be there. Keith, Coran and Hunk were always quite quick to catch that something was wrong, and first to react, directing the questions at him. Of course others, himself included, talked and included him in their conversations too. It always made him sad to see how he flinched when someone called his name. He hated it. When they found out he was a clone, no one paid him any attention. Things had happened so fast it slipped their attention. It hadn't been for too long, but enough to damage a person like Lance, clone or not. But lately he has been happy and Shiro enjoyed seeing him smile.

”Do you think he’s okay?” Allura broke the silence. Shiro looked at her, frowning.

”I think he needed some time alone. So let’s just go wait for him there. It’s the least we can do.”

”Of course. We can do that. Yes.”

  


* * *

  


Allura sighed as they entered the training room, looking at Shiro. She wondered what Lance wanted to show them here. Probably a new technique or something. But when the door opened they were frozen into place.

”What the _quiznak?_ But we just saw you in the storage room? You said you would come here fast but it’s impossible! Unless we have a teleport device which we don’t or I don’t know anything about it.” Allura shrieked with Shiro stunned by her side. It shouldn’t be possible. Alteans didn’t implement teleport technology into the Castle of Lions. They planned to do so, but then they were attacked and Altea was destroyed and-

She was so _confused_.

”I did tell you I was gonna teleport! Wait. I forgot the damn device. I’ll come back in a second!” They watched as he jogged to the control room and disappeared from the sight.

And the next moment, just few ticks later, the door behind them opened and Lance strolled in, looking at the tablet. 

It was _impossible._ What was happening here? Allura was so confused her head started to hurt. Shiro’s mouth was just hanging open, not able to produce a single word.

”Pidge, come in! Is Lance still with you?” Shiro asked suddenly.

Lancelot’s voice through the coms confirmed that yes, he was still with Pidge, which she confirmed as well. Something is definitely wrong. How can Lance _teleport_ when they have no means for it?

This was all hurting her brain. She was lost.

”H-how is this possible?” she asked, utterly stunned by these new developments. One moment he said he would come there fast, _teleport_ there, the next time they see him, (and yes, it was Lance. He had the scars) and then he jogged to the control room and came from behind them? _What is happening?_

”Princess… Shiro. Do you want to know why I called you both here?”

They just nodded.

”Pidge, if you would do the honor?” He gave Allura the tablet he was holding. Pidge was online, grinning widely.

”We interrupt this program to announce that our experiment of double undercover Lance plan passed wonderfully. Please congratulate our amazing and skilled trash princes of Altea-Air because they are one of a kind. Oops, two of a kind. In other words…”

Keith and Hunk interrupted by howling in laughter, Hunk screaming out, “Dudes, you have been pranked so hard, you should have seen your faces!”

The laughter of everyone in the castle, including Coran, echoed around them. She felt so betrayed. She was gonna get them for this. 

But while they were too busy look at the tablet and listening, they didn’t notice the door closing until it was too late.

And then Shiro finally looked like his head cleared up. He inhaled, sighed and then: “LANCES I WILL FIND YOU BOTH AND I SWEAR TO GOD IM GONNA FIND YOU AND-”

  


* * *

  


Lance and Lancelot smiled at each other. It worked perfectly. Their first prank – the biggest success.

This was alright.

This is a place where he belonged. Where they both belonged.

There was no doubt in Lancelot that it was alright to stay here. It will take a while to fix everything, but it was okay, because they were his family too. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Vagrant: Oh my goodness, thank you all so much! This was so much fun to work on. Everyone, thank you. And Rhapsody, thank you so much for working with me! I had a great time. The feedback to this was seriously amazing. Thank you all!
> 
> Rhapsody: And it's over. It was an honor working with Vagrant. As a huge fan of Vagrant's works, i have read all of them. So when we talked about ideas, we decided that we could turn this dreamed idea of mine into something very good. It wouldn't be as amazing if I had written it out myself, so when Vagrant accepted to work with me on it I was really happy. But what surprised me the most was this huge feedback. Thank you, you have all been amazing support! I hope you enjoyed the final chapter too (i just want to tell you that i am so happy with how the epilogue turned out, that I cried, and i was happy when Vagrant gave it green light with minimal modifications, i freaking screamed), and i hope we answered all the questions one could ask. It was a wild ride. :)


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